Vin Scully needs to update his autograph collection.

Come on Vin, the Honky Tonk Man? I guess he must keep his Rowdy Roddy Piper and Macho Man Randy Savage autographs at home.

"Killer" killer whale back at SeaWorld show.

Well, looks like Tilikum the "killer" whale is back to work at Seaworld, and I couldn't be happier. Not because I think that the whale is rehabilitated and will never hurt another human, but because this whale will most definitely kill again, and the people at Seaworld deserve a violent death at the hands of their own captive sealife. Did you know that in addition to the death of his trainer last year, Tilikum also killed two people in the 90's? These were no accidents, this whale is a murderer.

The crowds that come to see Tilikum are aware of this too. And deep down they're hoping for some kind of epic tragedy to happen at the show. Sure, it would be pretty horrific for kids to witness Tilikum kill again, but it will be a memory that will last a lifetime. And aren't memories that last a lifetime what Seaworld is all about? I went to Seaworld as a kid and I don't remember a damn thing, except for thinking it was weird that they sold fish sandwiches there. But if a trainer was attacked and killed by a whale, you bet your ass I'd remember that. Watching whales jump in the air gets old after a while, but aqua-violence is as popular as ever.

Little kid talks shit, gets ass kicked.

Was that the ice cream man driving through town? I wonder why he didn't stop.

This was a tale of two fights. The first fight was a verbal one, and the little dude in the Harry Potter shirt absolutely dominated striped polo kid. Is there a worse insult to an 8 year old than saying he still pisses the bed? I don't think so. Harry Potter had some great early lines, and striped polo was taking it in stride. He was talking back, but his material was weak. But as soon as Harry brought up pissing the bed, striped polo shut up. You could see the tension growing on his face. And once Potter said the "You had the whole god damn room smelling like rotten-ass piss" line, it was on.

As much as Harry Potter dominated the verbal fight, striped polo won in the end by pounding him into the fucking ground. And Potter knew it too. As soon as he pulled his shit back together, he wanted the tape of the fight destroyed. Lesson learned. Usually when two kids get into a fight in front of adults, the adults break it up. But this is the hood we're talking about. it's like bizarro world.

Pick # 6: Cleveland Browns

The Browns finished the season with 4 straight losses and a 5-11 record but for the first time in a long time, there are rays of hoping coming out of the dog pound. The team had a great draft last year with franchise corner in the making Joe Haden from Florida and then Colt McCoy in the second round, who surprised everyone, especially Browns fans, by actually looking at times like he might be a franchise quarterback. Their running back, Peyton Hillis, a cast-off from the Broncos, tore up the NFL with his bruising, downhill running style. In short, they have building blocks, and with another good draft in 2011, the Browns might be able to compete in the fierce AFC North division.

Every year, there is one pick in the top 10 that seems to come out of nowhere. Last year the Jacksonville Jaguars, picking at #10, snatched up Tyson Alaalu out of Cal, who literally no one had ever heard of. There was a stunned, awkward silence in Radio City Music Hall after his name was announced. That could be because there’s like 12 Jacksonville Jaguars fans in the world, but more likely because Alalau was such an under the rader prospect that it was a shock for everyone present. This year I think the Browns make a similar sneaky move and hush the crowd with a pick that everyone has heard of, but no one really thinks will go this high.

(INSERT OFFENSIVE NAME) #6 OVERALL MOCK DRAFT PICK:
JULIO JONES - WR, ALABAMA

Jones was the top recruit in the nation coming out of high school and became the first true freshman wide receiver ever to start the season opener for the University of Alabama. He went on to a dominant career at Alabama and then had an awesome combine in Indianapolis, raising eyebrows by outperforming A.J Green and the other top prospects with a partially broken foot. The Browns are certainly going to take a long, hard look at Von Miller out of Texas A&M in this spot, one of the defensive studs remaining in the draft, but really, this isn’t what they need. The Browns defense, though not great by any standard last year, wasn’t the big problem, they actually only gave up 20.8 points per game last year, which was the 13th best total in the league. Their offense, which lacked any semblance of big play potential aside from the occasional Josh Cribbs kick off return, scored a shade under 17 points per game, only one team was worse than that. Quick, can you name one Browns receiver aside from Cribbs who is more of a specialist than a wide receiver? That guy with the African name maybe? Is he still on the team or did he actually get killed by James Harrison last year? I don't know, the point is, Colt needs a big time target, and one is sitting right there for them at #6.

The other reason they don’t target Miller or Fairley here is because this draft, almost everyone agrees at this point, is one of the deepest in the defensive end/outside linebacker crop in the last 10 years. However, in terms of skill positions it is not terribly deep, so the Browns make the move on Jones, come away with the guy some people think will end up being the best receiver in the class, and between Peyton Hillis, Colt McCoy, Kick Returner Josh Cribbs, and Julio Jones be set at the skill positions for years to come.

Entire Mock Draft:

1. Carolina Panthers - Marcell Dareus
2. Denver Broncos - Patrick Peterson
3. Buffalo Bills - Cam Newton
4. Cincinnati Bengals - A.J. Green
5. Arizona Cardinals - Blaine Gabbert
6. Cleveland Browns - Julio Jones
   

12 year old boy charged with a hate crime.

ny daily news- A 12-year-old Staten Island boy was charged with felony assault as a hate crime for attempting to rip a religious head scarf off the head of a classmate on Wednesday, sources said.
Osman Daramy attacked the female student outside the Berta Dreyfus Intermediate School in Stapleton about 1 p.m., the sources said.
Osman allegedly punched and kicked the girl before trying to grab the scarf wrapped around her head, sources said. He was unable to remove the hijab during the tussle.
Cops also charged the hellbent schoolboy with aggravated harassment.
Sources said it was not the first time the boy had targeted the young victim and that he has harassed her at least four times in recent months. He was in trouble on Monday after he cut a chunk of hair off another female classmate's head, sources said.
A spokeswoman for the city's Department of Education said disciplinary action against Osman is pending.
Because he is a juvenile, the case will be handled in Family Court.

This kid sounds like a little piece of shit, but I don't think it was a hate crime. This kid sounds more like an equal opportunity bully. He cut the chunk of hair off another girl, and she wasn't Muslim, was she? Go ahead and throw him out of school, lock him up, pistol whip him, I don't care, but don't charge him with a hate crime just because one of the kids he terrorized happened to be Muslim. It's not fair to the other kids he fucked with. They suffered too. The school is just overreacting. It's kind of like the time Cartman hit Token with a rock on South Park, and Cartman was charged with a hate crime because Token was black. Osman isn't some kind of evil racist. He's just your typical Staten Island douche.

It's Opening Day!

Ah, baseball's opening day. A time when father's and son's go to the ballpark to enjoy the national pastime over a bag of freshly roasted peanuts. It's the unofficial start of.....I can't do this. I fucking hate baseball with a passion. It is so goddamn boring. National pastime my ass. Once upon a time baseball was king in this country, but now the NFL rules, and that's not going to change anytime soon. I could sit here and talk about the lack of integrity in the sport, like how they looked the other way on steroids for a decade, but that didn't make me like the game any worse. It was kind of funny, though, how people acted like they had no idea that the entire league was juiced up. When I was a kid, power hitters were usually fat 1st basemen, like Cecil Fielder. Then all of a sudden you had shortstops that looked like they stepped off the set of Conan the Barbarian hitting 40 homers a season.

What really sucks about baseball is the length of the season. It just goes on forever, and I think it hurts the sport. With that many games, players are bound to take days off here and there, and not really give 100% on the field, and it's no big deal, there's always tomorrow. Step onto a football field or into a boxing ring not ready to compete, and you could fucking die. The season is so long, teams can go on a 15 game losing streak, and it won't necessarily end their season. Do that in any other sport, and your season is basically over.

Shortening the season would make the games much more important and therefore interesting, but it could never happen because of the stats. Everything in baseball revolves around stats. In other sports, there are intangibles that cannot necessarily be measured, that play a big part in the success of individual players and teams. But not in baseball. Baseball can measure everything. Things like team work have nothing to do with success in baseball because at the end of the day, it is actually an individual sport. You could be the biggest shit head in the world, and everybody on the team could hate you, like A-Rod or Barry Bonds, and it will have no affect on the game. All that matters is what you do when you get up to bat, and those guys had Hall of Fame careers. In the NFL, guys with bad attitudes don't last long. Even if they have all the talent in the world. Look at Ryan Leaf, Jamarcus Russell, and Jeff George.

Controversy and season length definitely hurt the sport, but at the end of the day, what hurts baseball the most, is in fact, baseball. It's boring. It's no coincidence that baseball and alcohol go so good together. And if you don't like baseball, you can't really get away from it. Have you ever watched Sportscenter during baseball season? It's like 50 minutes of baseball highlights and 10 minutes of anything else. It totally sucks. As soon as the basketball and European soccer seasons are over, there is nothing else to watch til football season starts again. Except for the Tour de France, which fucking rules.

Corpse smuggled into Colombian soccer match.

The Independent- Police officers were caught napping at a top flight clash in Colombia as fans managed to smuggle in a coffin containing a corpse.

The incident occurred when police officers opened the stadium gates 15 minutes before the end of a match between Cúcuta Deportivo and Envigado. Instead of fans pouring out of the Estadio General Santander to beat the traffic, hundreds of supporters rushed into the ground along with the recently deceased.

The body within the coffin has been identified as belonging to Cristopher Alexander Jácome Sanguino. 17-year-old Sanguino was gunned down in a drive-by shooting the day before the visit of Envigado while he was playing football in the street.

As a member of Cúcuta Deportivo's hardcore supporters, la barra del indio, it appears Sanguino's death wish was to see his team play one more time.

While in his coffin, Sanguino spent eight minutes in the heart of Cúcuta Deportivo's home terrace on his final trip to the ground. His coffin quickly became the focal point of the crowd's celebrations following Diego Espinel late equalizer for the home side.

I think we could learn a lot in this country from Colombia. America is supposedly a free country, but you can't even bring an open can of beer into a sporting event. In Colombia, they're bringing fucking coffins into the stadium like it's nothing. Sure the entire country is incredibly violent and corrupt and you can be kidnapped off the street at any time, but I have to say that I'm a bit jealous. Plus they have tons of hot chicks running around down there.

Like her:

And her:

And her:

Alright, she's actually from Venezuela, but close enough.

Syrian President refuses to back down amid protests.

ny daily news- Syria's president refused to lift decades-old restrictions or offer any concessions Wednesday in his first speech since widespread protests have rocked the country.
Defying expectations that he would lift an emergency law that has stifled political opposition, President Bashar al-Asaad instead blamed "conspirators" for sweeping unrest.
"We are all for reform. That is the duty of the state. But we are not for strife," he said before the Syrian parliament. "What we should watch out for is starting reforms under these circumstances right now, this passing wave."
Syria has been swept up in unrest that has spread throughout the Middle East, toppling regimes in Tunisia and Egypt and leaving others fighting to survive.
Protestors have called for the lifting of the emergency law that has been in place since a 1963 coup that brought Asaad's Baath Party to power.

I always wondered why Urban Meyer really stepped down as Florida's football coach. Apparently, it was to become the President of Syria. It all makes sense now.

Pick #5: Arizona Cardinals

I’m curious how many people reading this actually watched any Arizona Cardinal games this past year? Maybe that’s not the best question, since the 4 people reading this blog probably live in Vermont and only 1 Cardinal game was nationally televised last year so the answer is probably zero. That game, against the 49ers, was arguably the worst game in the history of Monday Night Football and the only time I saw this team play in person. Actually it was the only half I saw of them, I couldn’t watch the second half, which is saying something, because in the Kurt Warner era they were one of the most fun teams to watch in the league.

After 2009, the Cardinals were left with their pants down when Warner, who was amazingly effective in his final years in the league, abruptly retired, leaving them Matt Leinart and a few unproven rookies. Leinart was so bad in training camp that they signed Derek Anderson away from the Browns to compete with Max Hall and John Skelton. Needless to say, it didn’t go as planned. Derek Anderson was awful and suffered an emotional breakdown in a post-game press conference mid-way through the year, and neither of the rookies proved effective in the least. It’s a shame too, because the Cardinals feature arguably the best receiver in the game in his absolute prime in Larry Fitzgerald. He went from catching double digit touchdowns in 2007, 2008, and 2009 to only 6 touchdown catches last year. Considering that in many cases, all you have to do is put the ball in this guy’s general vicinity no matter the coverage and he will come down with it, that number is a pretty loud indictment of their QB play in 2010. In short, while the Cards have other needs, no need is greater than finding someone who can throw Larry Fitzgerald the ball. They might not be sitting at number 5 in the draft with a chance to take an elite prospect at the position again for years, so even though he has some perceived weakness, the Cards pounce on Gabbert.


(INSERT OFFENSIVE NAME) #5 OVERALL MOCK DRAFT PICK:
BLAINE GABBERT - QB, MISSOURI


The last time the Cards drafted a quarterback in the top 10 they got burned by Matt Leinart and his other interests. With memories of Leinart, college girls, and beer funnels dancing in their heads, I think they stay away from Newton even if he’s available, who has been spotted in Miami nightclubs this past month, and stay with the kid who must be more of a loser than Newton and Leinart solely by virtue of his first name. Anyway, there’s another reason I think the Cards like this kid; his mobility. In a previous post, I mentioned that Blaine Gabbert has abysmal pocket presence, and this is true, but it is also different from being mobile. Gabbert has the good feet and ability to elude pressure, he’s just not good at it right now. With his size and the athleticism he has demonstrated though, there is hope that he can figure out this crucial part of the game. The Cardinals coaching staff are all former Pittsburgh Steeler coaches. Head Coach Ken Wisenhunt and Assistant Coach Russ Grimm were former assistants in Pittsburgh when the Steelers drafted another mobile QB high in the first round, Ben Roethlisberger. That turned out pretty well for the Steelers, and the Cards and their fans (except for the college girls and anybody in the service industry in Arizona) are hoping that lightning strikes twice with Gabbert.

Entire Mock Draft:

1. Carolina Panthers - Marcell Dareus
2. Denver Broncos - Patrick Peterson
3. Buffalo Bills - Cam Newton
4. Cincinnati Bengals - A.J. Green
5. Arizona Cardinals - Blaine Gabbert
   

Cops love tasers.

glendale now- A domestic dispute that boiled over at a business led to a woman being arrested for disorderly conduct after she used a child as a shield against being Tasered.
According to Glendale police:
A 36-year-old Milwaukee woman was arrested for disorderly conduct/domestic at the service area at Andrew Toyota, 1620 W. Silver Spring Drive, at 12:15 p.m. March 24.
When police arrived, the woman was holding the hand of a child while shaking her finger in the face of her boyfriend, an employee of Andrew, while yelling, "Give me my weed back!"
She struggled with police, refused to give her name and held the child in front of her to avoid being Tasered.
The boyfriend said the two had been living together for a few months but when asked what the woman's last name was said he wasn't sure. He also said he didn't want her arrested but police told him, they had no choice.

Does anyone else think that cops are going overboard these days with tasers? It seems like cops should be able to arrest a lady without having to resort to zapping the shit out of her. It's just pure laziness. How did they ever get by without them? I think initially tasers were used as a way of subduing somebody who was out of control, which was much more humane than clubbing or shooting them. But tasers were only used in extreme cases. Nowadays, all you have to do is talk back to cops and you'll get 50,000 volts blasting through your balls.

ps. I love how this guy lived with the lady for a few months and had no idea what her last name was.

Wife criticizes husband for poor aim, gets shot.

boston herald- With her final words before she was fatally shot, Elaine McCall needled her husband for missing with his first shot yesterday morning inside their Wakefield home, police said.
“You can’t even shoot," she said, according to her husband David McCall’s reported statements to police.
The 72-year-old husband was charged with murder after hitting his wife with the second shot from the top of the stairs, police said. His 69-year-old wife’s body crumpled to the floor near the front door, shot in the chest, police said. David McCall walked to the kitchen, called 911, and then tried to shoot himself, according to police, but he missed again, grazing his chest through his sweatshirt.

Well I guess the cops won't have much trouble figuring out a motive here. Sounds like this guy was fed up with all of his wife's squawking and finally decided to do something about. it. The story said that she was still alive when the paramedics showed up, I wonder if she zinged him one last time after he missed trying to shoot himself.

Pick #4: Cincinnati Bengals

Perhaps no franchise is in a greater state of flux and uncertainty right now than the Cincinnati Bengals, who in 2009 won the bruising AFC North division and seemed to be turning a corner, then took a horrible nose dive this past season, to the tune of losing 10 straight games this season. Can’t remember the last time a division champ lost 10 straight games the following year? Either can I, but I’m too lazy to look it up. The point is, there will be upheaval this offseason in Cincy and many thought it would start at the top, with Head Coach Marv Lewis, who the players clearly gave up on. 10 straight losses means Marv lost his team - and then quickly got a contract extension at the end of the season. Business as usual in Cincinnati.

Early indications are that this will be a draft heavy on offense for the Bengals. For one, the team will have two wide receivers signed after the 2011 season - the fast slot receiver type who is contractually obligated to be white and feisty, Jordan Shipley and Shay Hodge, who no one has ever really heard of. Their incumbent starters, T.O and OchoCinco were somewhat productive last year but the team still did not have a receiver in double digits in touchdowns on the season, kind of an amazing feat considering the firepower they were supposed to have. Some of that blame could fall on Carson Palmer, who had an abysmal season and subsequently made a vow to never set foot inside Paul Brown Stadium ever again and then sold his Cincinnati-based home. That being the case, there could be a strong case for Gabbert here, as the Bengals were going to have to address the quarterback position anyway and now with Palmer's extended temper tantrum that need has been heightened. I’m thinking they address the QB position with one of their later round picks, possibly taking a flyer on Ryan Mallett if he’s still around in Round 2 or Florida State’s Christian Ponder, who has been steadily rising up draft boards the past few weeks but should be available when the Bengals pick again. With their first round pick, the Bengals snatch up one of the premium prospects at any position the game has seen in some time.

(INSERT OFFENSIVE NAME) #4 OVERALL MOCK DRAFT PICK:
A.J GREEN - WR, GEORGIA

There has been some speculation, notably from Sports Illustrated’s Peter King, that the Bengals actually like Alabama’s Julio Jones more than A.J Green, but I don’t buy that. Green has been touted since high school as a special, game-changing Randy Moss type prospect. He missed the first part of Georgia’s season and when he returned his instantly transformed their offense. The Bulldogs were averaging 14 points a game when he wasn’t playing, when he came back they started averaging almost 40 points a game. He necessitates safety help because has the speed to burn corners deep, but his route running is what really separates him from the wide receiver pack. He has some of the cleanest routes around and he is the quickest in and out of breaks the game has seen for a long time. It’s amazing how polished the guy is at such a young age - in short, he has all the tools to be a dominant wide receiver in the NFL for 10-12 years. This kid is right next to Patrick Peterson as the closest to a sure thing stud prospect there is in this draft. If he’s available at #4 as I suspect and the Bengals let him slip away, it will take the top place in a long list of Bengals blunders.

Entire Mock Draft:

1. Carolina Panthers - Marcell Dareus
2. Denver Broncos - Patrick Peterson
3. Buffalo Bills - Cam Newton
4. Cincinnati Bengals - A.J. Green

Check out this surf video edited by a chimp.

surfers journal- Bruce Brown, Jack McCoy, Taylor Steele, Kai Neville -- all monkeys compared to JT the chimp. In one of those "only on the Internet" kind of things, we found this. We can't vouch for its authenticity, but given what's already floating around out there on the Internet, anything's possible:
"Great surf action edited by a chimpanzee named "JT". JT lives in a private chimp sanctuary located on the outskirts of Modesto, CA. JT the chimp was given the controls of a Final Cut Pro edit system, and quickly mastered the editing process. JT, the chimp editor, favors quick cuts and ambient sounds."

Well that sucked. I actually had much higher hopes for a surf video edited by a monkey. Saying that JT the chimp has mastered the editing process is like saying this guy has mastered the escalator.

Man superglues tiny hat to head. Can't get it off.

herald sun- AN ENGLISH man got himself in a sticky predicament when he didn't quite think through his Halloween costume.

Shawn Merter had a tiny sequinned top-hat to round out his outfit, but rather than tie it on with string, he superglued it to his head.

"I had fabric glue which is washable, but it wasn't sticky enough," he says in the video.

The point at which he realised his mistake is unknown, but the next morning an embarrassed Shawn was in the emergency ward at the hospital to have the formerly fashionable, now ridiculous headpiece removed. 

His understanding boyfriend was there to offer support and muffled giggles as the doctor gave him the bad news; the best they could do is cut off part of the hat, leaving the rim stuck to his scalp until it came off on its own.

I heard the same exact thing happened to A-Rod last year.

Girl pistol whips her mother when she won't co-sign her car loan.

news-press- A 17-year-old girl was charged Friday with aggravated assault with a deadly weapon, unlawful possession of a firearm and battery after deputies say she pulled a gun on her mother during an argument. Rachel Anne Hachero was upset because her mother wouldn't co-sign on a vehicle purchase, according to a Lee County Sheriff's Office report. The teen's mother told investigators Hachero threatened to kill her when she refused to co-sign for the vehicle. Hachero then confronted her mother at home with a gun and pistol-whipped her head, according to the report.

After pistol-whipping her mother, Hachero pointed the gun at her mother's head and stomach and told her she was going with her to sign for the car, according to the report. The mother told investigators Hachero ordered her mother into the vehicle and demanded she drive to the dealership to sign for the car or she would shoot her. Hachero and her mother then went to Sutherlin Nissan on South Tamiami Trail, where she had her mother sign for a 2004 black Nissan 350Z. Hachero left the dealership in the vehicle.

The mother told investigators she went through Hachero's purse Friday while Hachero was at school and located the gun, drugs and drug paraphernalia. The mother told investigators she did not want to press charges against Hachero, because she had recently been accepted to several Ivy League colleges.

I totally get where Rachel is coming from here. What a bitch her mother is. Why wouldn't she just co-sign the loan? It's a fucking 2004 Nissan? How much could it possibly cost? I don't usually condone pulling a piece on your mother, but if you're going to take it to that level and pistol whip her, why not buy a better car like a Cadillac or something? Seems kind of stupid to me. Ivy League my ass.



The Bengals have a 42 year old cheerleader?

huffingtonpost- Mom, cheerleader, and now, inspiration for a major motion picture. At 42 years old, Laura Vikmanis is the NFL's oldest cheerleader. A registered dietician, trainer and mom of teenagers who set her mind to making the squad and joined the Cincinnati Bengals' Ben-Gals squad in 2009, Vikmanis serves as a guide for her younger cheerleading teammates. If it sounds like a Hollywood film, well, it soon will be.
New Line Cinema has picked up the rights to Vikmanis' story, The Hollywood Reporter reports, with "Gnomeo and Juliet" writers Emily Cook and Kathy Greenberg set to translate her life to a film script. It's a story that has already been documented in the national press.
“I was at a point in my life where I was like, ‘What do I really want to do? What’s something in my life that makes me happy?’ ” Vikmanis told her local Dayton Daily News in 2009. “I went to a couple games and saw the cheerleaders and thought that looked really, really fun.”
Still, no one thought she could make it, so when she made it to the final round of cuts in 2008, it inspired her to train for an entire year, making the team the next time around.
“My family, I think at first when I told them I was going to try out, were like ‘Oh yeah, that’s something fun to try,’" she said. "When I finally made it they were in tears and just so excited. They have been behind me 100 percent. ... My children thought it was cool, but I don’t think they understood fully until they went to the game and actually saw me on the field. They think it’s so cool."

Jesus Cincinnati, when will the embarrassment end? The Bengals are perennial laughingstocks in the NFL and constant underachievers. You would think that a team with that many high draft picks would be decent once in a while, but not the Bengals. The Bengals are so bad that players will do anything to get off the team, like get themselves arrested and suspended, threaten to retire, or in extreme cases, die.

And now this, a 42 year old cheerleader. What a fucking joke. Most teams don't even have any cheerleaders over 19. The Bengals have officially given up on trying to compete, and now they're just turning football games into Barnum & Bailey Circus. "Come one, come all to see the world's oldest cheerleader! Allow your funny bones to be charged-up by the hysterical silly antics of Ochocinco the Clown! And feel the earth shake as the Wild Man of the South Pacific, Peko, rumbles onto the field!"

Actually the 42 year old has a smoking body. And she looks pretty hot...from the upper deck.

Pick # 3: Buffalo Bills.

Ah, the Bills. A scrappy, fun to watch team this past year, it can’t be denied, but can anyone ever remember a time when the Bills were anything but scrappy? Since the 1990’s Super Bowl runs their team has been classified by poor personnel decisions, out-coached coaches, and underachieving teams, year after year. The toughest part about the Bills and their tortured fan base is the complete and utter lack of hope. With the Jets’ recent emergence as an elite squad the Bills play in arguably the best division in football. This is a quarterback-driven league, and the lack of production the Bills have gotten out of the position is directly attributable to their decline. The Bills quarterbacks (J.P Losman, Trent Edwards) have been a collection of early to mid round draft picks with lots of unfulfilled potential who in the end, inevitably don’t pan out. It has become such a depressing trend for Bills fan that there was legitimate excitement about Harvard’s own Ryan Fitzpatrick, who had the 22nd passing rating among starting QBs this year, but he came so close to winning a few games and Bills fans expectations are so low that he was applauded. Yet only three starting quarterbacks had a worse completion percentage, Jimmy Clausen, Derek Anderson, and Mark Sanchez. AKA, if you’re trying to win a Super Bowl, which the Bills claim to be trying to do, Fitzpatrick can’t be your starter. They need a franchise guy, and sitting at #3, they are perfectly positioned to do just that.

(INSERT OFFENSIVE NAME) #3 OVERALL MOCK DRAFT PICK:
CAM NEWTON - QB, AUBURN

Look, I’m on board with all the Newton detractors. Could he wind up being a huge bust at the highest level of the sport? There’s a chance. Could he wind up being truly special, as he has demonstrated at every level of his football career, doing nothing but dragging his teams in high school, junior college, and Division I college ball to victory? There’s a chance that could happen as well. It’s easy to say that Newton will be the a bust because the chances are greater he will be. However, one thing that Newton won’t be is Ryan Fitzpatrick, a nice middle of the road kid who will win you some games but probably will never come through when it really matters. He has a special quality about him and the Bills, for too long, have had nothing special at all about them.

This year, for the Bills, is all about hope and something to grasp onto for their legions of loyal fans and their 92 year old dying owner. Ralph Wilson, the long time owner of Bills, isn’t going to be around for too many more seasons. He doesn’t give a shit about some left tackle prospect who will make a real difference as a building block for future teams. He needs to win in the next 2-3 years, and like it or not, the player who gives them the best chance at that is Cam Newton. He might not start in year 1, but with Fitzpatrick’s somewhat competent play they don’t need him to. He will sit, and learn for a year, then blow up in 2012. That’s the hope in Buffalo, and that’s why the Heisman winner and national champ is the pick at #3.

Entire Mock Draft:

1. Carolina Panthers - Marcell Dareus
2. Denver Broncos - Patrick Peterson
3. Buffalo Bills - Cam Newton

Poisonous cobra escapes Bronx zoo.

nydailynews- A 20-inch cobra slithered out of its cage in the Bronx Zoo Saturday, forcing the exhibit to close while workers searched for the venomous serpent, officials said.
The adolescent Egyptian cobra went missing from an off-exhibit enclosure sometime in the afternoon and zookeepers quickly closed off the Reptile House, officials said.
Workers canvassed the building, eying several closed-in spaces that the reptile would naturally be drawn to coil inside, officials said.
The snake - native to Africa and the Arabian Peninsula - was not recovered Saturday night, officials said.
The section will remain closed to the public until it is found.

Why do they have to close the section? I think the Bronx zoo is missing out on a great opportunity to capitalize on of this incident. I bet they're not doing that well financially these days. Going to zoos is old and tired, but danger tourism is very hot now. The zoo should allow adrenaline junkies the chance to walk around the area where the snake went missing. It would really be a win-win situation for the zoo. Zoo-goers could experience the thrill of being in an enclosed area with a deadly snake, which will bring new customers to the zoo. And if somebody gets bitten by the cobra and dies, it would be a huge news story. And everybody knows, no publicity is bad publicity.

Yuriorkis Gamboa is a badass!

This guy went 8 rounds with Manny Pacquiao. Gamboa knocked him down 5 times in 4 rounds. Dude looked like a little Tyson.

MySpace loses 10 million users in one month.

telegraph- The steep decline follows a further round of major redundancies at the start of 2011 and the continued growth of Facebook, which now has 30 million registered users in the UK.

According to the latest comScore figures, MySpace lost 10 million unique users between January and February of this year, going form 73 million to 63 million in a matter of four weeks.

This time last year, when site began the first in a series of major relaunches, MySpace attracted 95 million unique users.

Parent company News Corporation is reportedly still trying to sell off the ailing social network – which had hopes to reinvent itself through its streaming service, MySpace Music and its renewed focus on entertainment content.

At the start of the year Mike Jones, MySpace’s chief executive announced that the company was making 500 staff members redundant and slashing its international operation to a skeleton staff.

News Corporation bought MySpace for $580m (£373m) in 2008. The asset was briefly valued at $12bn when News Corp attempted to merge it with Yahoo in 2007.

Shocking, absolutely shocking. Who the fuck still uses MySpace? The story shouldn't be that they lost 10 million users, it should be that they still have 63 million. How pissed would you be if you were News Corporation? Nobody is going to buy this piece of shit. They thought they were getting the steal of the century when they bought MySpace in 2008, now they'd be lucky to trade it for a few cases of Grey Goose and a night with Tila Tequila. Facebook should consider themselves warned. There was a time not that long ago when MySpace was king, and this same collapse could happen to Facebook if something better comes along. It's all about what college kids think is cool, and Facebook may have jumped the shark once your grandma signed up. It's just a matter of time before somebody else creates an easier way to stalk women over the Internet.

House burglars avoid barking dogs by feeding them rat poison.

gazette- A string of dog poisonings in Colorado Springs’ Old North End could be the work of burglars who want to get rid of protective pets, a neighborhood association is warning its residents.
The Old North End Neighborhood association sent out an email Tuesday alerting residents to as many as 10 recent dog poisonings in the neighborhood and on the city’s west side.
“It looks like this might be the potential beginning of a burglary ring where the burglars are throwing rat poison to dogs,” said Victor Appugliese, the association’s president.
The concerns began with a February incident in which a veterinarian told a homeowner on North Cascade Street that his 2 1/2-year-old black Labrador retriever had died after being fed rat poison.
About a month later, burglars broke into the couple’s home and carefully picked through their jewelry — without having to deal with a barking dog.

Wow. Absolutely diabolical. With all the dogs in the neighborhood dead, they'll be able to silently rob all the houses. It seems like a fantastic idea on paper, but there is one little problem. People love dogs. And you can't just poison a bunch of dogs and think you will get away with it. The public outcry that will come from all these deaths will probably draw some attention from the FBI or the CIA or something. In no time, these guys will be taken out by the Delta Force. People like dogs more than they like other people. I bet Michael Vick would've gotten a slap on the wrist if he had a little kid fighting ring as opposed to a dog fighting ring. They'd probably be better off just killing the home owners.

Pick # 2: Denver Broncos

Well the Josh McDaniels era was just a colossal failure for the Broncos in so many ways it’s hard to quantify. But I’ll try. McDaniel’s quickly traded away the Bronco’s two best players, Jay Cutler (say what you will but he has a rocket arm and led a decent team at best to the NFC championship game) and Brandon Marshall, who had a down year with the Dolphins this year because he literally had no one to throw to him. Chad Henne was either throwing it 5 yards over his head or Chad Pennington was throwing it 5 yards in front of him on every play. He subsequently drafted Tim Tebow who had a few nice moments last year but it still wouldn’t surprise anyone if he was spreading the Gospel as a missionary in Africa in three years. McDaniels subsequently became involved in an ugly power struggle with defensive coordinator Mike Nolan right before the season and sent him packing to the Dolphins. The Broncos then endured one of it’s worst defensive seasons ever, highlighted by a historically poor pass rush. The Broncos allowed the most points and the most yards of any NFL team this past season, pretty good barometers of a God awful defense.

Enter the steady hand of John Fox, former coach of the Panthers. Due to all the reasons listed above, Fox is expected to address his defense early and often in the 2011 draft. The decision is not easy. Even with Dareus off the board in this mock draft, they have a few gems to choose from with the second overall pick. If you look at precedent and history as a guide, then you need look no further than the 2002 draft, the last time John Fox was the coach of a team with the #2 overall selection in the draft. That year, he was in Carolina and selected Defensive End Julius Peppers out of North Carolina. Pepper’s turned into a perennial Defensive Player of the Year award challenger and this past offseason commanded one of the most lucrative free agent contracts ever given to a defensive player. This year, there just happens to be another disruptive physical freak of a defensive end from a ACC school who spends an awful lot of time in the opposing backfield - Da’Quan Bowers from Clemson. Simply put, Bowers had one of the most dominant years for Clemson this year that a defensive player has ever had on the college level - he was an absolute beast all year. He was the nation’s leader in sacks with 16 and was a force in every game Clemson played.

All that being said, Bowers will not be the Bronco’s selection at #2. Shortly after the season, he underwent knee surgery for a torn meniscus and he was expected to be ready for the Combine. He wasn’t - stating that he needed more time to prepare, but he would definitely be ready for Clemson’s Pro Day. Guess what? He wasn’t ready for that either, pushing his workout back yet again until April 1st. His agent has been scrambling to quell reports that his knee is more fucked up than he’s letting on, but the fact is if it’s already taken this long and experienced this many set backs, he might as well drape a red flag over that knee when doing his official NFL visits later this month.


(INSERT OFFENSIVE NAME) #2 OVERALL MOCK DRAFT PICK: PATRICK PETERSON - CB, LSU


Too high to draft a cornerback? Maybe for your normal highly rated corner, not for a prospect like Peterson. Peterson is considered by many to be the best cornerback prospect since Charles Woodson, but Deion Sanders might be the better comparison because of Peterson’s ability to return both kicks off and punts. Generally, cornerbacks aren’t valued this high because they can be taken out of the game by the opposing team just throwing to the other side of the field. The Broncos happen to have Champ Bailey on the other side, recently signed to a new extension, so teams won’t be able to do that. Due to Bailey’s presence, the Broncos represent the team that Peterson can actually have the biggest impact on of any teams drafting in the top 5. Additionally, there are more ways to improve a pass rush than just to add pass-rushers. If the opposing QB has no where to go with the ball, the pass-rushers that are there have more time to get to QB - this why John Fox ultimately makes Peterson his first ever draft pick with the Denver Broncos.

Entire Mock Draft

1. Carolina Panthers - Marcell Dareus
2. Denver Broncos - Patrick Peterson

Pick # 1: Carolina Panthers

One of the things that makes this draft so interesting is that with a month to go until draft night, there is still no clear cut number one consensus pick. Last year around this time it was clear Sam Bradford was going to be the pick, the year before the Lions made it obvious they were targeting Matthew Stafford. This draft - at least from the top of the draft standpoint - most closely resembles 2008. That year the Miami Dolphins sat on the clock with the number 1 overall pick and like the Panthers this year, no clear cut answers at the most important position on the field, quarterback. That year, just like this year, there were two QBs that were considered “potential studs” that people were divided on - Matt Ryan and Joe Flacco. The Dolphins passed on both and snatched up Left Tackle Jake Long form Michigan, who has been their best player but they have floundered because Chad Henne, the QB they got at a discount rate in the second round, absolutely blows. In fact, Miami’s failure to adequately address the QB position (passing on Flacco and Ryan, before that signing Daunte Culpepper instead of Drew Brees) have held them back, year after year, from truly competing.

Which brings us to 2011 and the Carolina Panthers. Sort of unenviable position for Ron Rivera, the new coach of the Panthers. They traded Jake Delhomme last season because he was old and sucked and went with Matt Moore, who sucked even worse, who then gave away to Golden Boy Rookie Jimmy Clausen, who sucked on a historic level. There’s an old NFL adage that states “new regimes mean new quarterbacks.” If Stanford’s Andrew Luck comes out a year early like everyone expected this is a no-brainer, slam dunk. Now Rivera needs to decide if Blaine Gabbert, who no one ever had of a month ago, or Heisman winner national champion movie star Cam Newton will be the 22 year old he stakes his future on.

Gabbert is considered to have “all the tools” a stud QB prospect needs. He is big, smart, makes all the throws, but the problem is he doesn’t seem to have “it.” He didn’t come from a winning program at Missouri, and in his final college bowl game against Iowa he was terrible. I was watching the game in a bar with no sound on, had never heard of Gabbert, and honestly thought Missouri’s starting QB got hurt and they were playing some freshman. His pocket presence is abysmal, you know how Tom Brady and Peyton Manning aren’t exactly mobile, but shuffle around the pocket to create extra time? This guy does the opposite. Time and again he shuffles directly into pressure and takes way more sacks and QB hurries than he needs to, which forces him into some awful interceptions. Cam Newton, on the other hand, undoubtedly has “it” he has been a winner at every level, makes the play on fourth down when you need it, the dramatic comeback, and he can look into the eyes of an NCAA investigator and convince them he’s telling the truth, so maybe he can convince Ron Rivera he won’t be a bust. I don’t buy it though, and I don’t think Rivera will either.


(INSERT OFFENSIVE NAME) #1 OVERALL MOCK DRAFT PICK:
MARCELL DAREUS - Defensive Tackle, Alabama


I feel, in the end, after all the official visits and smoke screens, that Rivera and the Panthers address one of their biggest areas of need with arguably the “cleanest” prospect in this draft. Dareus is a game-changing monster who comes from a great college program and has been competing at a high level for three years now. He was the best player on the field at the National Championship game last year and had another outstanding season. After that he absolutely tore up the combine in Indy and was already considered a top-5 lock going into it. The Panthers have so many holes that it seems like Rivera will start with a 320 pound building block instead of taking such a huge chance on Gabbert or Newton, guys that in end, they won’t completely believe in. They will never say it publicly, but they are going to be so bad again next year that with a little Luck, they will be in the running to land the #1 pick again next year and get the QB they really want and need.

Charlie Sheen kiss on Jimmy Kimmel causes man to go berzerk.

Sheen kiss sends Quitman Co. man over edge

It's scary to think what he would've done if she put American Idol on?

Mayor KO'd at town meeting.

miami herald- The Windermere Town Council meeting ended abruptly after a confrontation between the mayor and the husband of Town Manager Cecilia Bernier.
Officials say it not clear whether Mayor Gary Bruhn was puched or pushed Tuesday night as he exchanged words with Roland Bernier. But he crashed into a table and fell to the floor, where he was briefly unconscious.
The confrontation came after the mayor questioned Cecilia Bernier's management abilities, blaming her for a police scandal among other things.
That's when officials say Roland Bernier came to the podium and made accusations about the mayor's private life.
Bruhn was taken to a hospital in Ocoee. There was no word on his condition.
The town's new police chief, Mike McCoy, says he's investigating the incident.

So this happened in Florida, huh? What a surprise. Is there any state more fucked up than Florida? It's a bizarre melting pot of old people, native rednecks, and white trash that blew into town from other states. Any time you see a headline like this, there is a 80% chance it took place in Florida, a 19% chance it took place in California, and a 1% chance it occurred anywhere else. Every time I go to Florida, I keep my head on a swivel. You never know what's coming around the corner. Criminals, crazy people, and 90 year olds speeding in town cars can kill you at any time. And don't forget the alligators. I guess Mayor Bruhn should consider himself lucky that he wasn't shot. It is Florida after all.

California mother arrested for encouraging son to fight.

huffingtonpost- A California mother has been arrested for allegedly encouraging her son to fight another boy in a bout that was caught on tape. Jennifer Zuniga of Ceres, CA was arrested this week for allegedly telling her son to beat up another boy, even giving him pointers during the fight.

Zuniga, 33, faces charges of child endangerment and contributing to the delinquency of a minor, according to CNN. "Jennifer can be heard and seen in the video yelling and encouraging her son to batter the other juvenile. Jennifer is heard yelling a barrage of profanities and enticing the fight," Ceres Police said in a statement.

According to the New York Daily News, police were able to track the mother down after an anonymous tip was sent to a local crime tipline.

What's the problem here? Jennifer is just a throwback when it comes to parenting. She taught her son that if some kid was fucking with him to handle it like a man. Don't try to wrestle him, knock him out! None of that hugging shit! How else was she supposed to handle this situation? This kid showed up at his house looking for a fight. It's not like he could have run inside his house and called the cops, who would've been the weak-ass nigga then?

What's that dude's problem who showed up in his car and ruined everything? It's alright man. This is a front yard. They can fight there.

It's an (insert offensive name) exclusive!

With the 2011 NFL draft a little over a month away, we are proud to announce the (insert offensive name) 32 teams in 32 days draft extravaganza! Starting tomorrow, March 23, our very own draft guru will begin previewing the draft for all 32 teams in the league. Check back each day for a new team preview, which will recap their 2010 season, cover the team needs for 2011, and make exclusive predictions for the entire first round. The road to the Superbowl starts April 28th at the draft, and the road to the draft starts tomorrow, right here!

Howard Stern sues Sirius.

huffingtonpost- Howard Stern and his agent are suing Sirius XM Radio Inc. for failing to pay stock awards they say are due for helping it exceed subscriber growth targets on its way to becoming the dominant satellite radio service in the country.
The New York-based company, which just signed Stern to a second five-year contract, said it was "surprised and disappointed" at the suit and said it had lived up to the obligations of their previous deal.
In the suit filed Tuesday in the Supreme Court of the State of New York, Stern's production company, One Twelve Inc., and his agent Don Buchwald said that Sirius made an initial bonus stock award after Stern started in January 2006 but failed to do so over the subsequent four years.
The suit claims that Stern helped Sirius exceed its subscriber targets by at least 2 million subscribers in each year of the contract, triggering a new stock award each time.
It also said Stern put Sirius in a position to complete its 2008 acquisition of XM Satellite Radio Inc., which had also courted Stern years earlier.
Sirius had around 230,000 subscribers to XM's 1.3 million at the end of 2003. As of the end of December, the combined company had 20.2 million.
Buchwald and Stern were told last year by Sirius XM's general counsel, Richard Basch, that later bonus stock awards were not granted because the company did not include XM's subscriber base toward the total number of Sirius subscribers.
"When Sirius needed Stern, it promised him a share in any success that the company achieved," the suit said. "But now that Sirius has conquered its chief competitor and acquired more than 20 million subscribers, it has reneged on its commitment to Stern, unilaterally deciding that it has paid him enough."
The suit follows a public feud last year that preceded the end of his $500 million, five-year contract.

What the fuck does Sirius think it's doing? Howard Stern made them, and he is worth every penny that he has coming to him. I've had Sirius for over 6 years, and I listen to it for hours a day. The Stern show is basically the only thing worth listening to, let alone paying $150 a year to subscribe to. The only other thing I listen to is the commercial free music, which absolutely kicks ass, but I would never pay for if not for Howard. I'm sure that many of the subscribers to satellite radio initially signed up because it came with a new car. But as far as the people that actually bought the radios, I'd say the vast majority are Stern fans. There is simply nothing else on the stations that could lead this many people to subscribe. And there is nobody else in entertainment that could get so many people to pay that kind of money to listen to the radio. Pay the man. And Baba Booey to y'all.

Dez Bryant kicked out of mall for sagging pants.

CBS Dallas- Dallas Cowboys receiver Dez Bryant found himself at the wrong end of the law for not properly covering his hind end Saturday.
Bryant and three of his friends were ejected from the NorthPark shopping center Saturday after a dispute between Bryant and two off-duty officers over the men sagging their pants below their hips, exposing their underwear.
A Tuesday police statement says officers working off-duty Saturday as security at NorthPark encountered Bryant and three companions wearing the drooping pants.
When the officers asked the four to pull up their trousers, Bryant launched into a profanity-laced tirade.  According to the statement, when confronted, Bryant told officers. “What the ****, you stopped me like I stole something.”  That prompted the officers to escort the four from the mall.
Police say Bryant refused to leave, however, until his “representative” could arrive and he parked in a fire lane until a friend arrived and persuaded him to go.
No charge was filed, but a Miscellaneous Incident Report was filed.
Bryant’s agent, Eugene Parker, declined to comment. The Dallas Cowboys did not respond to requests for comment.
The city of Dallas is no stranger to controversy surrounding sagging pants.  Mayor Dwaine Caraway, serving as mayor pro-tem at the time,  tried to pass an ordinance against it in 2007.  Ultimately the city decided not to pursue the ordinance, citing constitutional issues.

First of all, Dez Bryant is a fucking millionaire. At some point, especially when you're a 1st round draft pick, you have to stop dressing like a kid and start acting professional. Did you ever see Michael Irvin's ass hanging out of his jeans?

That being said, this law is totally racist. The white people in Dallas don't like black people, so they use the way they dress as an excuse to kick them out of public places. If the people of Dallas really have a problem with revealing clothing, the laws should apply to everybody. Fat chicks should be prohibited from wearing tight clothing, mom's wearing jeans that show camel toe should be outlawed, and old folks should be required to wear long pants. While we're at it, guys who wear sweat pant shorts should be instantly locked up too. You know dudes like that are up to no good.

I think these dudes are running out of ideas.

I'm definitely a fan of these guy's work, I especially liked the TurBaconEpic Thanksgiving, but this is just stupid. Come on, meat cars? I should send these guys my idea for Cheeseburger 2.0. It's a burger with square mozzarella stick patties for buns.

LT officially declared a sex offender.

ny daily news- Football great Lawrence Taylor was officially declared a sex offender Tuesday for bedding a teen runaway - and faced his victim for the first time since their fateful May encounter. Taylor was sentenced to six years probation in Rockland County Court for patronizing a prostitute and sexual misconduct.
As a sex offender, the former linebacker is barred from porn websites and sex shops. He cannot be alone with underage kids, except his 5-year-old son and his friends, and has to be home between 1 and 5 a.m. A hearing to determine his sex offender level and whether he has to put his name in a public registry will be held April 12.

Wait, is he barred from porn websites for life? That seems like a pretty stiff penalty for any crime. LT banged a hooker. How the fuck was he supposed to know how old she was? And he can't go to sex shops either? What the hell is he going to do to pass the time? LT's gonna be climbing the walls in no time. How long do you think it will be before LT's son starts hanging out with 16 year old hookers?

12-Year-Old Pong Master

This is bullshit. Let's see if this kid can hit a shot after a few beers. Actually this kid has a pretty good idea here. Practice your ass off to the point where hittting shots is second nature, then when you start playing with beer in high school and college you will totally dominate. The only problem is that being the best beer pong player in the school will result in zero pussy. If he thinks these skills are going to get him laid, he is dead wrong. Now if he would spend all the time he takes perfecting these shots on practicing guitar instead, he might be on to something.

Man shows up for his DWI hearing, drinking a beer.

nbc new york- A 49-year-old man is in Sullivan County Jail without bail after authorities say he showed up for a court hearing on a felony DWI charge drunk and carrying an open can of Busch beer, plus four more cans in a bag.

The Middletown Times Herald-Record reports that Keith Gruber of Swan Lake was an hour and a half late for his court appearance Monday before Sullivan County Judge Frank LaBuda, who asked him if he enjoyed his "liquid lunch." Gruber said he did, then said he was sorry. LaBuda sent him to jail with no bail.

"It was obvious he was intoxicated," LaBuda said. Gruber, who has prior DWI convictions, was arrested on Dec. 27 in the town of Liberty and was out on $30,000 cash bail.

What's the problem here? Last time I checked, drinking beer was legal. Sure he showed up an hour and a half late and shit faced, but that doesn't mean Judge LaBuda can just toss him in the slammer with no bail. I think it is pretty obvious that Keith was in a hurry to get to court, or else he would've finished his beer. Maybe the traffic was bad. And it's not like he drove to court, did he? The fact that Keith is clearly a total fucking loser should have no bearing on his DWI case. It doesn't sound like the judge even gave him a chance to explain himself, he just made his smart ass "liquid lunch" comment and threw him behind bars. Not exactly a fair trial.

Apple offers "Gay Cure" app for iPhone.

guardian- Apple is under fire from gay rights activists after it approved an iPhone and iPad app targeting "homosexual strugglers".

More than 80,000 people have signed a petition against the so-called "gay cure" app, which Apple deemed to have "no objectionable content".

Exodus International, the pro-Christian group behind the app, promotes the "ex-gay" movement, encouraging people to change their sexuality. The app gives users "freedom from homosexuality through the power of Jesus", according to the group.

Apple had not returned a request for comment at the time of publication.
Ben Summerskill, chief executive of gay rights group Stonewall, said: "At Stonewall, we've all been on this app since 8am and we can assure your readers it's having absolutely no effect.
"Apple might consider thinking about their customer base and the penchant many lesbian and gay people have for ethical consumerism when endorsing an offensive app like this."

The technology giant is notoriously efficacious in deciding which apps it allows on to its popular iPhone and iPad handsets. Last year Apple withdrew a similar anti-gay iPhone app called Manhattan Declaration after Change.org, the online activism site, handed over an 8,000-strong petition.

A new petition letter addressed to Steve Jobs, the Apple chief executive, posted on the Change.org site last week said: "Apple doesn't allow racist or anti-Semitic apps in its app store, yet it gives the green light to an app targeting vulnerable LGBT youth with the message that their sexual orientation is a 'sin that will make your heart sick' and a 'counterfeit'.

"This is a double standard that has the potential for devastating consequences. Apple needs to be told, loud and clear, that this is unacceptable."

The app is pretty ironic because the iPhone itself is, in fact, gay.

Dave Grohl told "Glee" to fuck off.

hollywood reporter- When it comes to using his band's songs on 'Glee,' the Foos frontman sides with Kings of Leon and Slash in the licensing battle.

Don’t count on hearing the Foo Fighters hit “Times Like These” on Glee anytime soon. Frontman Dave Grohl says he and his bandmates are squarely in the corner of Kings of Leon and Slash. As in, they want no part of the Ryan Murphy-helmed show.

“It’s every band’s right, you shouldn’t have to do f---ing Glee,” Grohl told THR following the premiere of Foo Fighters: Back and Forth, the new Foo Fighters documentary which just made its South By Southwest debut. “And then the guy who created Glee is so offended that we’re not, like, begging to be on his f---ing show… f--- that guy for thinking anybody and everybody should want to do Glee.” 

You might be wondering, has Grohl ever actually watched the show? As it turns out, yes, he gave Glee a whirl. “I watched 10 minutes. It’s not my thing,” Grohl grizzled. But he doesn’t have as much of a problem with the series as he does with its creator.  

Recounting anti-Glee comments made by Slash earlier this year and subsequent retorts by Murphy, reported by THR, Grohl explained to drummer Taylor Hawkins: “The Glee guy, what a f---ing jerk. Slash was the first one. He wanted to do Guns ‘n’ Roses and Slash is like, ‘I hate f---ing musicals. It’s worse than Grease.’ Then [Murphy's] like, ‘Well, of course he’d say that, he’s a washed up ol’ rock star, that’s what they f---ing do.’ And then Kings of Leon say, ‘No, we don’t want to be on your show.’ And then he’s like, ‘Snotty little assholes…’ And it’s just like, Dude, maybe not everyone loves Glee. Me included.”

Said Hawkins: “Yeah, f--- that shit.”

Bravo Dave Grohl, Bravo. Is there anything worse than musicals? I fucking hate them. I don't even like rock bands if they're too theatrical on stage. Except for Iron Maiden, those guys rock the shit. I can't believe that the creator of the show would ever think bands like the Foo Fighters or Guns & Roses would want anything to do with his fruity show. We're not talking about Journey here, we're talking about G & fucking R. Those guys are rock legends. If you start letting shows like Glee and American Idol water down your songs, you begin to lose credibility. Could you imagine Led Zeppelin or Black Sabbath letting their songs get butchered by some 2nd rate Broadway wannabes? Hell no.

It's not like letting your songs be on Glee will help your career. In February of this year, Glee surpassed Elvis Presley as the artist with the most ever songs placed on the Billboard 100 list. Yeah, you read that correctly, the King of Rock n Roll is now the Prince of Rock n Roll. Think about that for a minute. Pretty ridicluous, huh? More artists should realize that Glee fans don't buy your records, they buy the shitty covers of your songs that they heard on the show. If you want to get your music out to a new audience, sell your songs in their original form to movies, televsion shows, and commercials. Believe it or not, hearing the original version of "Paradise City" in an add for Carnival Cruiselines would be much less depressing, than watching a bunch of clowns doing an interpretive dance while singing a poppy version of the same song.

Higher burrito prices at Taco Bell lead to 3 hour stand off with police.

my san antonio- The price of the Beefy Crunch Burrito had gone up from 99 cents to $1.49 and the man at the Rigsby Road Taco Bell drive-thru had just ordered seven.

The fast food customer was so disgruntled by the price hike he shot an air gun at the manager, displayed a semiautomatic assault rifle and pistol while in the restaurant's parking lot, fled as police were called, exchanged gunfire with three officers who pulled him over, then barricaded himself in his hotel room — all over $3.50 plus additional tax.

The final incident in the burrito-triggered spree happened Sunday afternoon at the Rodeway Inn on North W.W. White Road, engaging SWAT negotiators in a more than three-hour standoff, according to officials and witnesses.

The man, whose name was not released because he had not been charged, faces three attempted capital murder charges for the exchange of gunfire with police plus possible other charges, said police spokesman Sgt. Chris Benavides. No one was injured in the incident.

The suspect was taken into custody about 6:45 p.m. Sunday after officials used tear gas to get him out of the motel room where he was staying. Police recovered the rifle and two handguns, Benavides said.

Taco Bell has got some fucking nerve raising the price by over 50%. What is their reason for doing this? It's not like beef prices have gone up recently. Shit, the "beef" they use at Taco Bell is only 30% beef anyways. The manager is lucky this guy only used his air gun on him. This dude was down on his luck, living at the Rodeway Inn with nothing to do but drive around town with an arsenal of automatic weapons. The only thing that was going to cheer him up was seven beefy crunch burritos from the Bell. Not 5, not 6, but 7. I bet he only had enough money for seven at the old price. Now some pimply face punk at the drive-thru window tells him it's going to cost an extra $3.50? Bull shit! He could buy a whole other meal for that much. Something like that could lead even the most rational person to a 3 hour stand off with the cops. I don't really like Taco Bell, but I'll tell you right now, if I go to the bar this Friday, and all of a sudden the price of a beer has gone up by 50%, there's gonna be hell to pay.

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

Heading to the bar, then going down to Boston for a few days. Probably the last post for a few days. Going to enjoy the holiday.

Royal Caribbean to offer "All you can drink" packages.

USA Today- Worried about keeping track of your spending on drinks on your next cruise? Royal Caribbean hopes to allay your fears with a trio of new one-price, all-you-can-drink packages.
A caveat: The offers, which are rolling out this week on three ships, aren't inexpensive. The line's new Beer and Wine Package costs $29 per person per day for all beers, house wine by the glass and a 25% discount on all other wines and liquors.
The line also is offering the Classic Package, which costs $39 per person per day and includes all beers, house wine by the glass, all liquor (except premium and speciality brands), cocktails and 25% discount on all other wines and premium and speciality liquors. The Premium Package, at $49 per person per day offers all that is included in the Classic Package plus glasses of wine that normally sell for up to $10, cocktails, premium liquor brands and a 25% discount on all bottles of wine, glasses of wine over $10 and speciality liquors.
The packages will be available on the UK-based Independence of the Seas, Asia-based Legend of the Seas and Panama- and Spain-based Grandeur of the Seas -- three ships that cater heavily to non-Americans who are more accustomed to all-inclusive packaging. Royal Caribbean says it is responding to consumer demand.
"Royal Caribbean International has developed these new packages to enable our guests to make their holiday more relaxing and enjoyable by paying one set price for a wide variety of drink choices," Royal Caribbean's top UK executive, Jo Rzymowska, says in a statement.

Expensive? What the hell are they talking about? Do you know how much beer you can drink in a whole day when you're on vacation? A shit load more than $29 worth. What else is there to do on a cruise besides eat and drink anyway? I can't think of anything. If I was on a cruise, I would be way past $29 worth of suds by lunch time, every day. As soon as they start offering this in America, sign me up, I'm on the first cruise. What great business move by Royal Carribean. Why would anyone book with any other cruise line when you can get all you can drink packages with Royal Carribean?

I don't know about the Premium package, though. All you can drink top-shelf liquor could be really dangerous. I could see a mutiny happening, with wasted cruisers taking over the ship.