Reporter stages fight, then breaks it up.

Nice try buddy. There is no way this really happened. Shomari definitely paid these guys to stage the fight, right? He started his report, and instantly looked up to see the fight. Do you really think they would start filming with this shit going on right behind them? And look how fast they stopped once he jumped into it. Everybody instantly gave up, except for that method actor who whipped the guy one more time. Take it easy dude, you almost hit the talent. Just look at that dive, so unnecessary. How about just walking over and pulling him off instead of doing that slow motion tackle and roll. I'm telling you, these reporters are going out of their way looking for trouble lately. Remember the reporter in the IHOP fight? I did like the improv by the little guy, though, telling him to take his marijuana dealing ass out of there.

I was about 50/50 as to whether this was real or staged, right up until that last line about the victim being a white supremacist, and this guy telling him "Remember to judge a man by his character, and not by the color of his skin." You gotta know to quit while you're ahead, Shomari.

Hookers flocking to Facebook.

nydailynews- It's a friend request with benefits - but it isn't for free. New York hookers are flocking to Facebook to advertise their services, a Columbia University sociologist says. After studying the habits of 290 sex workers, Sudhir Venkatesh found that 83% rely on Facebook to lure johns. "I estimate that by the end of 2011, Facebook will be the leading online recruitment space," Venkatesh wrote in the February issue of Wired magazine.

Fucking Zuckerberg, man. Dude is a genius. First he creates Facebook and becomes the youngest billionaire in the world, then he gets a movie made about him and is named Time magazine's Person of the year, and now this. His master plan has finally come full circle. Zuckerberg created Facebook to get laid, then he made billions off it, now there are girls on Facebook that will basically do anything for money, and he can afford it. Bravo, sir.

Russell Brand Plants Surprise Smooch on Ryan Seacrest

People- Oscar night is for giving compliments and kisses – and E! red-carpet host Ryan Seacrest was on the receiving end of both – from Russell Brand.
The funny Brit, his mother Barbara at his side, told Seacrest in a flirtatious manner that he was looking very handsome and then leaned in to plant a smooch on Seacrest's cheek.
Rather than blanch at the budding bromance, Seacrest leaned over to return the kiss – on the cheek of Russell's mom.


Russell Brand is lucky that he pulled this shit while Seacrest was working. Normally Seacrest would've kicked his fucking ass. Everybody knows Ry don't put up with any gay shit. Not even from British comedians. Seacrest is 100% into chicks, and if you forget that, Seacrest will make you remember, and you don't want that. If this happened anywhere else, Brand would've had his fucking teeth knocked down his throat. Then he would be forced to watch as Seacrest banged Barbara, right in front of him. Seacrest is 100% into chicks.

Benise is the ultimate male.

I saw this guy on TV last night, playing this song, and my jaw dropped. What a bad ass! I bet this guy bangs so many chicks. He just walks around like a total stud, then he pulls the guitar out, and BAM! Panties instantly drop. Is there a bigger turn on for the ladies than spanish guitar? You know when he hit that solo at the 2:06 mark all those girls in the front row, and a few of the guys, climaxed. Those chicks are literally stuck to their seats. This guy is such a force of nature, the wind is actually blowing inside the theater. There is a new god, and his name is Benise.

You're a Pussy If You Think Soccer's For Pussies

Chelsea manager Carlo Ancelotti has confirmed that Ashley Cole remains part of his first-team plans after accidentally shooting a work placement student with an air rifle and has denied that indiscipline is rife within his squad.

Cole was plastered over the News of the World on Sunday, amid allegations he shot 21-year-old Tom Cowan, who had to be treated by the club's medical staff after being hit in the side by a lead pellet, at Chelsea's Cobham training ground with a .22 rifle.

• I've heard it a millions times — soccer's for pussies. Well, the last time I checked, pussies don't carry around air pistols and shoot helpless students at will. Fuck all the haters. Chelsea's Ashley Cole may be a complete douche who somehow managed to mess things up with his former wife, the hottest Brit of all time Cheryl Cole, but he is definitely not a pussy. Fact.

Winning!

Fuck this winter!

I really hate winter. And this winter has just been one giant snowstorm after another. Now its raining ice today. I'm not leaving the house today. Fuck it. Every year I fall hard at least once on the ice. I've made it this far without doing it, and I'm not letting it happen this year. I almost busted my ass walking home on Saturday night, and that was too close. I'm staying in til April.

Who wouldn't want to punch this guy in the face?

Straight left to the mouth, and he never misses a beat. What a pro! If all K-pop was like this I could see myself really getting into it.

Tug of war mishap.

That was unexpected. I think the lady with the short red hair got knocked out cold. She's not moving. Kind of an embarrassing story to tell in the future when people ask her how she lost her eye.

Green to the rescue?

The Jeff Green era officially begins in LA tonight as the Celts take on the Clippers with their new additions Jeff Green and Nenad Kristic. I for one will be glued to my television on a Saturday night while everyone else is out drinking in bars and hitting on girls watching close to see if Danny Ainge fucked up a good thing, trading away a cornerstone of their team and resident badass in Kendrick Perkins. Stay tuned C's fans, stay tuned.

HELL YEAH BABY! IT'S FRIDAY!!!

I challenge you all to find the single gayest part of this video.

C-MAC's 2011 Oscar Guide

C-MAC knows movies because C-MAC spends the majority of his free time locked in his bedroom screening the latest releases on his HDTV, while his unarguably cooler and more socially-adjusted roommates party and "have fun." He also "teaches" film making for cold, hard cash so you should trust his opinions when he starts talking about Hollywood. Here are C-MAC's Oscar picks ahead of Sunday night's big event.

***

Best Picture:

Without a doubt, the best picture of the year was Black Swan. Unfortunately, the hoity-toity Academy voters can't get enough of movies about some sort of disabled who overcomes challenges (even if, as is the case this year, the disabled is set for life due to his royal lineage) or topical films which capture the "essence" of the current era. Quite obviously, The King's Speech is the tard-does-good film this year while The Social Network purports to explain to us and future generations how we live now (i.e., "You know what's cool? One BILLION dollars" or some bullshit about the evolution of human relationships in the digital era). The early money was on The Social Network, but the current wave of momentum points to a win by The King's Speech, even if one of the main sets in the film was recently used as the setting of an English-made hardcore gay porno. In a perfect world, Aronofsky's cinematic journey into the deluded mind of a schizo-psycho ballet dancer would take the cake, but I don't see this happening. 127 Hours was brilliant as well, but I doubt the Academy would give Boyle two Oscars in three years. I pick the King's Speech, begrudgingly.


Best Actor:

Colin Firth is the safe bet, but I wasn't all that thrilled with his stuttering act. I mean, for me, the movie began to drag after we were told that this whole stuttering issue could be solved merely by the King wearing headphones while he speaks. Case closed, right? Actually, no. Annoyingly, The King's Speech is all about off-beat color schemes and wacky cinematography. I say fuck that. For me, the best actor this year was James Franco. 60% of 127 Hours is Franco standing in a crevice talking to himself and I was never bored. Isn't that incredible. Perhaps this has more to do with Boyle's direction than Franco, but I personally found James so much more interesting than that stiff, stuttering king. Sadly, I think the Academy is going to award Firth for still being around after all these years, and for doing a good job in Tom Ford's A Single Man last year. Franco will just have to host and bide his time. I pick Colin Firth, even though he's a limey twerp.

Best Supporting Actor:

Christian Bale is the king of Hollywood freak outs. With five immortal words ––"ARE YOU TRASHING MY SCENE!?" –– Bale became an icon of the diva method-acting set. I love him. He is so fucking cool. BUT, and this is a big but, will the Academy stand to vote for such a psycho? Will all the light directors out there boycott Bale because of the way he treated one of their own? This is the question to ask. In any case, Bale was phenomenal in The Fighter. If for some reason the Academy screws Christian (and they won't because he will fucking snap on them), I would like the Oscar to go to Renner for The Town, a movie which I really got into this year. But I don't see this happening. I pick Christian Bale because I'm afraid of what will happen if I don't.

Best Actress:

A lot of idiots are talking up a big game for Annette Bening right now. They're saying Natalie Portman can't act, and that her STUNNING performance in Black Swan was a fluke. Well, to that I say: "Fuck that!" Even though Bening appears to have gone to Lesbo bootcamp to better prepare for her role in The Kid's Are Alright (the Buddy Holly frames and tight-cropped hairstyle are spot on), she just can't top Natalie's descent into insanity. And if some Academy members are hoping to invoke the Brokeback Mountain/Milk/Boy's Don't Cry clause which aims to include at least one nod to homosexuality each awards season, I would like to remind them that Natalie and Mila totally dyke it out in Black Swan. I pick Natalie Portman because I'm thrilled that it's finally critically acceptable to be in love with her.


Best Supporting Actress:

Melissa Leo is going to win for The Fighter unless The King's Speech pulls off one of those annoying "sweeps" of the Oscars. Fuck Helena, fuck Geoffrey, fuck all of that British bollocks. Melissa Leo, our hometown girl, is going to win. I pick Melissa Leo because she was such a convincing Queen Of All Skanks.

Animated Feature:

Toy Story 3, you retard, even if it put me and The Big E to sleep.

Best Director:

I pick David Fincher for The Social Network as a sort of consolation prize for losing Best Actor and Best Picture. Even still, Fincher did an amazing job with The Social Network. The movie has his prints all over it, and the consistently dark tones can't help but remind the viewer of Tyler Durden or the Zodiac killer. I pick David Fincher, but again, if the King's Speech sweeps look out of that twat Tom Hooper.

Original Screenplay:

I pick the King's Speech because everyone thinks it's so "literary" and therefore obviously indicative of good writing...

Adapted Screenplay:

I pick Aaron Sorkin's The Social Network because I think Aaron has a lot of pull in town and I think people assume he's a genius because he wrote The West Wing which I don't give a shit about. Either way, he looks like the biggest prick of all time, so whatever, I guess he deserves it.

***

So there you have it, C-MAC's well-researched picks for the 2011 Oscars. I'll be back to celebrate my foresight next week, so until then, au revoir.

Klepto cat terrorizes town.

Fucking cats. I absolutely despise cats. They're total assholes. You know that when a cat rubs its tail on you, it's rubbing piss on you, right? "No, it's just rubbing it's scent on you," where do you think that scent is coming from, dumb ass? It's piss! And how about litter boxes? Is there anything grosser than having a box full of cat shit in your house? Fucking disgusting. The only thing worse than cats are people who love cats. Look at the cat's owners yucking it up about all of the stuff this cat stole. You wouldn't think it was so funny if somebody else's cat swiped your lucky tighty whiteys, would you? If this cat was in  my neighborhood and tried to pull this shit, I'd hit it with a fucking shovel. I don't usually advocate feline violence, but criminals need to be dealt with.

Reporter starts trouble at IHOP funeral.

If I've said it once, I've said it a thousand times, don't mess with an impromptu memorial service outside of an IHOP. You're just asking for trouble. These good citizens were trying to show their respect for a guy who tried to keep it real inside a pancake house and ended up getting a cap busted in his ass. Then along comes this nosey reporter, who has been around this "mob mentality" before, and knew exactly how stir up some trouble for the camera. Look at him throwing kicks and pushing girls at the 1:17 mark. This was all planned out from the beginning. They were playing it up for the camera. Why do you think they had another camera on the whole incident? Just look at that giant camera chick get rag dolled to the ground by a girl half her size. No way that could really happen.

Charlie Sheen tells it like it is.

Charlie Sheen called into the Alex Jones show today, blasted out of his mind, and was absolute gold! Too many fantastic lines to mention them all, A MUST LISTEN! This guy has reached a new level of bat shit crazy. In a single interview, Charlie discusses his life, how he is every character in Apocalypse Now, Vatican assassins, that Thomas Jefferson was a pussy, how he cleaned himself of alcohol in nanoseconds, and that the only thing he's addicted to now is winning.

The best part is that, at first, Alex Jones is trying his hardest to support everything Charlie is saying, but by the end, even he is trying to bail on the interview. I want to listen to this thing 20 more times and quote lines from it for the rest of my life. Absolute insanity!

Get out of there Harold!

What kind of pussy monster truck is that? Does it even technically qualify as a monster truck? It's like a Ford Taurus or something. Figures it would only make it about two feet before getting completely stuck and bursting into flames. Just keep spinning the tires til she blows up, Herbie. What a total disaster.

Like the hustle by Harold, though. He's waist deep in the mud with that little ass fire extinguisher in no time. You just can't teach that.

The Reign Man calls Blake Griffin's dunk weak.

(Hey MJ, how do my nuts smell?)

huffington post- Blake Griffin jumped over a car and threw down an alley-oop dunk to win the 2011 Dunk Contest over the weekend. However, former NBA player and dunking sensation Shawn Kemp didn't think much of it.

The 41-year-old joined KJR in Seattle with Dave Mahler and Ian Furness on Wednesday and called Griffin's final dunk "weak."
"I'm a big Blake Griffin fan, but that dunk at the contest might've been the weakest dunk in the dunk contest that I've seen in a long time," Kemp said. "I love the choir and all that stuff was great, but you at least gotta jump over the car though right."
Kemp also said that he could jump over a car.
"I'm 41 years old and right now I could do it. Two Smart Cars," he said.

I totally agree with Kemp here. That dunk was stupid. The chorus, the hybrid car, Baron Davis' head sticking out the sunroof, all incredibly stupid. The best dunks in the contest are usually in the first round, like Blake's was this year. By the final round, it seems like the guys are usually out of ideas, which is funny considering they only need to come up with three dunks. The final round is always full of ridiculous costumes, lame props, and an overall lack of imagination. It's like "let me do the same dunk I just did, but now I'm going to wear a funny hat."

I agree with Kemp that Blake's dunk was lame, but the weakest dunk in a long time? I don't really think you have to go back that far to find a lame dunk. How about that guy who dunked on two hoops? That dunk and his 3-ball dunk were the two weakest dunks of the night. Thats like the kind of shit kids do jumping off of trampolines. Not impressive.

They didn't say anything about smoking in the ocean.

AP- NEW YORK (AP) — New York City's parks, beaches and even Times Square will be off-limits to smokers under one of the nation's toughest anti-cigarette laws passed Wednesday by the City Council.
"This summer, New Yorkers who go to our parks and beaches for some fresh air and fun will be able to breathe even cleaner air and sit on a beach not littered with cigarette butts," Mayor Michael Bloomberg said after the 36-12 vote.
The smoking ban will cover 1,700 parks and 14 miles of public beaches plus boardwalks, marinas and pedestrian plazas like the one in the heart of Times Square. The ban goes into effect 90 days after Bloomberg signs the bill; the mayor has 20 days to do it.
States and cities from Maine to California have banned smoking in public parks and beaches, but New York is pursuing one of the widest-reaching urban bans. Smoking is also prohibited in Los Angeles city parks and in Chicago parks with playgrounds.

I don't smoke, nor have I ever been a smoker, but I think this is bullshit. What is this communist Russia? Actually, I take that back, I bet in communist Russia you could smoke in hospital nurseries. Last time I checked, this was still a free country and cigarettes were still legal. How can you outlaw smoking like this? You're not allowed to smoke indoors anymore, now they are making it illegal outdoors too. Where can you go, the top of skyscrapers? I mean shit, you already can't drink at the park, now you can't smoke. What's the point of even going to parks anymore?

You know, if the Tea Party wasn't completely full of shit, they would be up in arms over this. I mean talk about government over-regulation and the taking away our liberties. This time those fat cats in city hall have gone too far. I say let's take our country back, starting right now! I'm going down to Times Square right now and lighting up. Who's with me? USA! USA! USA!

Would a 71 yr old male porn star ruin the porn?

The phrase "do something you love and you'll never work a day in your life" seems completely apropos for porn actor Dave Cummings.

Although Cummings (born David Connors) turns 71 in a few weeks, an age when many of his contemporaries have retired, he is still working hard at his craft, almost 17 years after entering what insiders refer to simply as "the industry."

The efforts have paid off: Cummings is one of this year's inductees in the X-Rated Critics Organization's Hall of Fame Class of 2011, an honor handed out to, as the press release says, "only the best and brightest in the world of porn."

"I feel like I've accomplished something I never would have imagined," Cummings told AOL News.

I'm happy for this guy. I really am. I guess he deserves this award and all the prestige that come along with the Hall of Fame, I mean I've never actually caught him in all my years of youporn but if he's stuck around this long he's gotta be good.

That being said, would watching a 71 yr old in a porn be a downer? I mean, when I'm watching porn I try not to pay attention to the guy in the porn, I just try to focus on the chick, but along those lines, girl on girl porn doesn't really do it for me. I kind of need a guy banging the chick. I feel weird saying this but it's true. But if the guy was old and wrinkled would it kind of be weird? Not that I need the guy to be an absolute strapping stud but a 71 yr old? A little creepy isn't it? The guy could be banging his granddaughter and I'm sitting there late at night watching this shit. Tough call.

Fence jumper comes up short.

Getting old sucks. In his mind, this was a piece of cake. I bet this dude has jumped over that fence hundreds of times. Until today when his body failed him, and he ended up with a broken ass. I feel his pain. Tragic.

What's next, Gin flavored Gatorade?

AP-PORTLAND, Maine (AP) -- Beer. It's not just for couch potatoes anymore.

A Bavarian brewmeister is touting its no-alcohol beer as the latest sport drink for athletes, handing it out at the finish line of sporting events and touting its regenerative benefits.

Unlike Gatorade, Erdinger Alkoholfrei is served up with a frothy head. And it comes in one color - a golden hue - unlike conventional sport drinks.

Several top athletes from Europe quaffed the beverage from giant mugs on the podium of the World Cup biathlons held this month in northern Maine.

The company touts the beverage as an isotonic, vitamin-rich, no-additive beverage with natural regenerative powers that help athletes recover from a workout. In other words, it's carbohydrate-loaded refreshment without the alcoholic buzz of beer or the jitters caused by some energy drinks.

Non-alcoholic beer has got to be the stupidest invention ever. What is the point? Was it created so alcoholics could still drink beer without the pleasant side effects? News flash- any recovering alcoholic who drinks O'douls so he can still enjoy that great beer taste is going to switch to the good stuff sooner or later. It's bound to happen. Drinking near beer is like watching an edited for television porno movie, on paper it seems like it would be better than nothing at all, but in the end it's utterly disappointing.

Now this German company is trying to push a new version here in this country. Even if you call it an energy drink, it's bound to fail. This is America, Fritz. We like booze in our energy drinks. Now, if they would only make an alcoholic version of the energy beer, they might be on to something.

Billy Ray Cyrus acting like Miley's bitch.

popeater- Billy Ray Cyrus certainly knows how to burn a bridge. First he angers his daughter Miley by comparing her to Anna Nicole Smith. Then he attacks Disney, saying 'Hannah Montana' destroyed his family. Now he goes and upsets TV legend Barbara Walters after his daughter forced him to drop out of a scheduled interview on 'The View' this week.
"When Miley found out her father was scheduled to appear on 'The View' on Wednesday she went nuts," a family friend tells me. "Only last week, Billy shot his mouth off in GQ, and now he planned to sit down with [Barbara and Whoopi] and talk more crap about his family. No way would Miley or her team let that happen."
The GQ interview started off a firestorm after Billy Ray's bombshell that he feels isolated from his daughter, blaming everyone but himself. "I'm scared for her," he said in the interview. "She's got a lot of people around her that's putting her in a great deal of danger. I want to get her sheltered from the storm."
Billy Ray's comments had come out of nowhere, leaving everyone, including Miley, to wonder why her dad had decided to go public with private family matters.
"At first Miley defended her dad, wanting to believe he had been tricked into saying bad things by the magazine," an insider with knowledge of situation tells me. "Miley truly wanted to give her father the benefit of the doubt, goodness knows she's said things she wishes she could take back. But after she found out about his media trip to New York, no more excuses could be made."

Hey Billy Ray, how about manning the fuck up! What kind of pussy cancels an appearance on the View because his daughter told him to? We're talking about the fucking View here! You can't just back out like that. This is the big time baby! Screw Miley, you are your own man. What's the worst she can do to you, cut you off? Fuck that shit. Sure Miley is rich and famous, but you're Billy Ray fucking Cyrus! You wrote "Achy Breaky Heart" for Christ sakes! You think Miley will ever create anything on a level with "Achy Breaky Heart"? Fuck no! If anything, you should cut her ass off. How much time does she really have left before this whole fame thing blows up in her face? 2, 3 years tops? Go on whatever show you want. And while you're at it, lose that butt cut, grow the mullet back, rip all the sleeves off your shirts, then sit back and wait for her to come crawling back.

You're going the wrong way!

Classic example of why we need to repair and rebuild the infrastructure in this nation. I bet the do not enter sign on the exit ramp was damaged or missing. You can hardly blame this guy. I bet this shit happens every day.

Bulls 1, Matadors 0.

Totally awesome! Was that a matador or a homeless guy who wandered into the ring? Nice tecnique bro. Maybe you should've put on some shoes before you stepped in to face the bull. This guy didn't even have a red cape. My favorite part was when the fence collapsed, allowing the bull to run right out of the ring. Hopefully he was able to gore a few more guys on his way out of town.

Do you think Palin gives a shit about this book?

usa today-A former aide to Sarah Palin has written a book alleging the 2008 Republican vice presidential nominee disliked being Alaska's governor, according to a report by the Anchorage Daily News. The manuscript by Frank Bailey, which has not been published, reportedly begins with the story of Palin sending Bailey an e-mail saying "I hate this damn job" before she resigned as governor in July 2009.
The book also alleges that Palin broke Alaska's election law in her 2006 race.
Pam Pryor, a spokeswoman for Palin's political action committee, Sarah PAC, told the Anchorage paper that the former governor probably would not respond "to this kind of untruth."
Palin is thinking about running for president in 2012

You think this book coming out is going to phase Sarah Palin? Hell no! She hasn't given a fuck what people say about her since she fell off a turnip truck and on to the stage at the Republican convention in 2008. Palin sent an email saying she hated being govenor. No shit! Why do you think she quit? The book also alleges she broke election laws in 2006. I would expect nothing less, she's a rogue! This book won't do any more damage to her image than her mouth does, every time she does an interview.

One thing's for certain, this guy ain't letting no book change his mind!

Texas wants guns allowed on campus.

huffington post- AUSTIN, Texas — Texas is preparing to give college students and professors the right to carry guns on campus, adding momentum to a national campaign to open this part of society to firearms.
More than half the members of the Texas House have signed on as co-authors of a measure directing universities to allow concealed handguns. The Senate passed a similar bill in 2009 and is expected to do so again. Republican Gov. Rick Perry, who sometimes packs a pistol when he jogs, has said he's in favor of the idea.
Supporters of the legislation argue that gun violence on campuses, such as the mass shootings at Virginia Tech in 2007 and Northern Illinois in 2008, show that the best defense against a gunman is students who can shoot back.
"It's strictly a matter of self-defense," said state Sen. Jeff Wentworth, R-San Antonio. "I don't ever want to see repeated on a Texas college campus what happened at Virginia Tech, where some deranged, suicidal madman goes into a building and is able to pick off totally defenseless kids like sitting ducks."

This sounds like a fantastic idea. How great would it be if you were able to pack heat on campus? Really great, that's how great! Just think about how the college experience would change. Some frat brothers won't let you into their party? I think they'll reconsider with a glock in the face. Roommate gets on your case for partying while he's trying to sleep? Fire a few shots in the air, that oughta shut him up. And everybody knows that chicks dig guns. Really, it's scientific. Even grades would improve across the board if professors knew that all of their students were strapped. I really can't imagine any scenario where this could lead to a problem.

I think this kid just died.

What was the point of this jump? I mean, even if he landed it without a problem, would it really be that cool? C'mon man, its a fucking scooter. Maybe if it was a skateboard we might have something here, but a scooter? How embarrassing. This guy is going to have to tell people for the rest of his life that his deformed face was not the result of some bad ass bar brawl or a kick from a mule, but from a fruity scooter crash.

PS. Who was filming this? Nice non-reaction dude. Maybe he stayed quiet because the guy could quite possibly be dead and he didn't want to be tried as an accomplice. Or maybe he didn't want anybody to know he was hanging out with a guy who jumps scooters. Just drop the camera a get the fuck out of there, buddy.

Dog takes out girl on sled.

Fucking dogs. Always ruining a good time. I wonder how many sledding injuries are caused by dogs annually. Must be in the millions.

This chick might want to strap on that helmet a little tighter next time. Did you see her head smack the pavement? Next year they'll be pulling her behind the car in her wheelchair.

Original member of Elvis' Memphis Mafia dies.

www.breitbart.com- Lamar Fike, a member of Elvis Presley's famed inner circle called the "Memphis Mafia" who had a long career in the music industry has died. He was 75.
James Fike says his father held various roles with Presley, including lighting director, bodyguard and managing Presley's music publishing group. He says his father continued to work in the music business after Presley's death.
Fike was among five members of the group dubbed the "Memphis Mafia" who incorporated the name in the early 1990s.

The Memphis Mafia was like the original entourage. They worked, lived, and partied with Elvis and were constantly around him from the early 60's until his 1977 death, while on the toilet. They were the ultimate yes men. While Elvis' life spiraled out of control from drug abuse, overeating, and bizarre behavior, the Memphis Mafia was there to make sure nobody called him out on it.

Being in the Memphis Mafia would've been great. Those guys did whatever the hell they wanted: partying, banging groupies, shooting things, flying to Denver on a whim for massive sandwiches. Those guys had it all. Sure, once Elvis died, they were pretty much fucked, but it was fun while it lasted, right?. At least one member of the Memphis Mafia did alright, though. Member Red West played Red Webster in "Roadhouse."

This lady is a fucking idiot.

"In her opinion, these pictures are different from those taken by a paparazzi on a sidewalk." You think? What a fucking revelation! They are different, they are taken inside a Walmart. Would she be okay with paparazzi taking her mom's picture outside? What if they still made fun of her trench coat? I guess her argument is that Walmart is not a public place, and there should be privacy shopping. Point taken. Melanie should probably avoid going into stores, taking pictures of children and posting them on the Internet, though.

I guess the moral of the story is going online and making fun of freaks that shop at Walmart is all fun and games until a picture of your mom shows up.

Hall Pass looks pretty funny.

"Hall Pass", the new movie from the Farrelly brothers, comes out next week. Looks pretty funny. What ever happened to the Farrelly brothers? They started out on a tear with the holy triumvirate of mid-90's comedies with "Dumb and Dumber", "Kingpin", and "There's Something About Mary." They also made "Outside Providence", which was a little under the radar compared to those other three, but still pretty damn funny in its own right. "Me, Myself, & Irene" was another movie that was a bit underrated, but still funny as hell. By 2000, the Farrelly brother's films were something to look forward to and see in the theaters.

Then came a solid stream of diarrhea, with stinkers like "Stuck on You" and "Fever Pitch", as well as perhaps the worst of them all, "Shallow Hal", which almost simultaneously ended the careers of the both the Farrelly Brothers and Jack Black. After that, I kind of lost track of what they were up to, until now. Could "Hall Pass" resurrect the careers of the Farrelly brothers, or will it be the final nail in their coffin? Does anybody even give a shit? I don't know, I guess we'll just have to wait and see.

COLLEGE STUDENT PUTS VISINE IN ROOMMATE'S WATER BOTTLE. HILARITY ENSUES.

The smoking gun- FEBRUARY 10--Inspired by a scene from the movie “Wedding Crashers,” a Wisconsin college student repeatedly placed Visine eye drops in a water bottle used by her roommate, who was sickened by the tainted liquid, police charge.

Luciana Reichel, 22, was charged last month with a felony count of placing foreign objects in edibles. Reichel, pictured at right, is scheduled for an initial Circuit Court appearance on March 7.

According to a criminal complaint, on “numerous occasions” late last year Reichel placed Visine in a quart-sized water bottle used by Brianna Charapata, her 20-year-old roommate at a University of Wisconsin Oshkosh dorm. As a result of ingesting the tainted water, Charapata told cops, “she began feeling nauseated, suffered from diarrhea, loss of appetite and was otherwise very tired for no apparent reason.”

Charapata, who said that her doctor was unable to explain the cause of her symptoms, recalled having to leave an October 18 marketing exam when she suddenly became ill.
Reichel’s Visine scheme ended after she told another student about the prank, and that classmate, Laura Gallas, informed Charapata. Gallas told police that Reichel laughed when describing the Visine stunt “because the eye drops…had been making [Charapata] sick.” After seeing this, Gallas added, Reichel said she “decided to add more to her water bottle a few days later and the same results happened.”
When confronted by cops, Reichel reportedly confessed to the Visine stunt, claiming “she got the idea from watching the movie ‘The Wedding Crashers’ where an actor in the movie put eye drops in someone’s drink and it made that person sick.” In the 2005 comedy, actor Owen Wilson’s character places eye drops in the wine of a rival, played by Bradley Cooper, who becomes violently ill.

If convicted of the tampering charge, Reichel, once a star swimmer on the university’s swim team, faces a maximum of 3-1/2 years in prison.

Nice, the old visine in your roommate's water bottle prank. I don't have a problem at all with what Luciana did. Dorm roommates are a pain in the fucking ass. Being over 18 and sharing a bedroom with someone of the same sex is plain weird. I hated my freshman year roommate. The fucking guy would stay up past 2 every night doing homework, then wake me up at 6:30 in the morning by running his coffee maker. He would constantly spill bong water on my rug, and try to tag along to parties. I literally would have to sneak out of the dorm on a Friday night just to ditch him. I wish I knew about this prank back then. Sure it's technically poisoning someone, and it's illegal, but I would've loved to see that bastard running out of his marketing exam, about to shit himself.

Does loving Bieber make me gay?

I was driving today and thinking about Bieber - which has been happening more and more lately. When my mind wanders at least once a day for the past month I'd wondered what Biebs is doing at that given time, what he had for lunch, shit like that. Today I was actually wondering what he's going to be like as a 30 yr old. Will he be married? How many chicks will he fuck before he gets married? How could his 20s possibly top his teens?

But that's not the point - the point is I should ashamed of thinking aobut Bieber so much. I know this. It's gay and weird for a grown man to spend so much time thinking about a 16 yr old boy rock star - I get that. So how do I stop thinking about him? Like, thoughts are not something you can control, right? So even though I know it's gay how do I stop? But you know what? I enjoy thinking about Bieber, I'm always in a good mood when I'm doing it, so why do I have to stop? Is it just that I should stop talking and texting to people about it? I guess some things are best kept to yourself but goddamn it felt good writing this blog.

WRESTLING COACH: POSSIBLE PERV.

boston.com- In a case that has stunned the athletic community, a celebrated North Andover High School wrestling coach was arrested yesterday on child pornography charges.

David Castricone, 60, who has coached the Knights for 36 years, is to be arraigned this morning in Lawrence District Court. He was charged with possession of child pornography following a search of his home, North Andover police said in a statement.

The team will attempt to defend its 2009-10 Division 2 state title tomorrow.

In a statement, Christopher Hottel, superintendent of North Andover’s public schools, said Castricone resigned from his position yesterday, citing health and personal reasons. Assistant Carl Cincotta will lead the team for the remainder of the season, Hottel said.

Police said Castricone came under scrutiny after they received a complaint from the administration of North Andover High School about inappropriate behavior by the coach.

Following a preliminary investigation, police executed a search warrant on Castricone’s house and recovered unspecified evidence, police said.

Hottel said school officials were aware of Castricone’s arrest, but declined to comment.

“As with any police investigation, the School Department is, and will be, cooperating with local law enforcement,’’ Hottel said. “Given that the investigation is in progress, it would be inappropriate for the School Department to comment on the allegations or the police investigation.’’

Brian Keenan, a former hockey coach at North Andover High, said he was shocked at the allegations.

“It’s an extremely sad situation,’’ Keenan said last night. “You never want to see that.’’

Castricone, the owner of Castricone Roofing and Siding in North Andover, is a well-known coach in New England. The Knights are third all-time in the nation in wrestling victories and first in New England.

Castricone was the Globe’s Division 2 wrestling coach of the year in 2010.

Castricone could not be reached for comment last night.

No big surprise here. The only real surprise is how more wrestling coaches don't get arrested for child pornography. I mean have you have ever sat through a whole wreslting match or practice? some seriously homo-erotic shit going on. The wrestling kids always walked around my high school like they were the biggest bad asses going. Like yeah, you can probably pin me to the ground before I can pin you to the ground, great dude, awesome, you win. I mean these guy's sport basically involves losing weight and butt fucking another dude on a mat in unquestionably the gayest uniforms in sports front of a bunch of other screaming dudes. Sign me up. I mean if you watched and coached that shit for 40 years like our boy David Castricone of course you're going to go home at night and download some gay kiddie porn. It's not that much of a leap from what he'd been doing all day. In fact, this guy could just as easily have been watching game tape from that days practice. Its really not so different, but we're going to lock his ass up and throw away the key.

Guest blog written by Crunch.

EGYPT IS FREE...HOORAY?

cbs news- On Friday, Feb. 11, the day Egyptian President Hosni Mubarak stepped down, CBS chief foreign correspondent Lara Logan was covering the jubilation in Tahrir Square for a "60 Minutes" story when she and her team and their security were surrounded by a dangerous element amidst the celebration. It was a mob of more than 200 people whipped into frenzy.

In the crush of the mob, she was separated from her crew. She was surrounded and suffered a brutal and sustained sexual assault and beating before being saved by a group of women and an estimated 20 Egyptian soldiers. She reconnected with the CBS team, returned to her hotel and returned to the United States on the first flight the next morning. She is currently in the hospital recovering.

There will be no further comment from CBS News and correspondent Logan and her family respectfully request privacy at this time.

Guys! Guys! Take it down a notch! Look, I'd like to bang Lara Logan as much as the next guy, but this is ain't cool! Is this the kind of shit that went down under Mubarak's reign? Well guess what Abdul? Hosni's gone. You guys want real democracy? Start acting civilized. If you want to take out your agression by beating on some western reporters, go ahead. Punch Anderson Cooper in the face. Kick Harry Smith in the nut sack. Smash a camera over Brian Williams' smug face. Just leave the ladies alone, that shit ain't cool.

ITALY'S PRIME MINISTER: PRETTY COOL.

yahoo- His penchant for beautiful young women has cost him his wife, and now may cost Silvio Berlusconi what he cherishes most: power.
The 74-year-old Italian premier was ordered Tuesday to stand trial on charges he paid a 17-year-old Moroccan girl for sex, and then used his influence to cover it up -- an offense that, if proven, could see him barred permanently from public office.
Berlusconi has called the allegations "groundless" and dismissed the case as a "farce," accusing prosecutors of seeking to oust him from power. He did not comment Tuesday, skipping a news conference in Sicily and meeting with his lawyer in Rome.
Unlike Berlusconi's many past legal problems involving business-related charges concerning his Mediaset empire, this time he faces allegations of personal misconduct while serving as the head of government. The trial is set to begin April 6 before a panel of three female judges.
The indictment alleges Berlusconi paid for sex with the Moroccan girl, nicknamed Ruby, then used his influence to get her out of police custody when she was detained in connection with an unrelated theft of $4,103 (euro3,000). Prosecutors say Berlusconi called police the night of May 27-28, 2010, because he feared his relationship with the teen would be revealed.
The child prostitution charge carries a possible prison term of six months to three years. However, the abuse of influence charge is even more dangerous: It carries a sentence of four to 12 years, and if Berlusconi is sentenced to more than five, he would be barred from ever again holding public office.
Both Berlusconi and the now 18-year-old Moroccan nightclub dancer deny having had sex together. Ruby, in a TV interview on a Mediaset channel, said Berlusconi gave her $9,000 (euro7,000) the evening they met, and later jewelry.

What a gentleman. Most men in his position would probably just have the underage whore they were banging killed once she got into legal trouble. But not Berlusconi. He used his power to get her out of jail, and presumably, back into his bedroom. A noble move to say the least. So of course when questioned, Ruby denied that they ever had sex. The only problem was that she admitted he gave her $9,000 and jewelry. C'mon Ruby, use your head! What kind of pathetic loser would give a 17 year old belly dancer/ hooker that kind of scratch without getting any ass in return? Certainly not a guy with his own media empire and a badass name like Silvio. 

P.S. Isn't it funny that in Italy, abuse of influence is way worse than paying an underage girl to fuck you? Good luck with those 3 female judges, Silvio. Tough draw.

MALCOLM IN THE MIDDLE...OF A DOMESTIC DISPUTE.

us magazine-Former child star Frankie Muniz got into an intense fight with his girlfriend -- in which he allegedly held a loaded gun to his head and later punched her, according to a police report obtained by TMZ.

A Friday report filed in Phoenix, Ariz. states that the Malcolm in the Middle star, now 25, got into a heated argument with girlfriend Elycia Turnbow over "prior relationships."
The report reads that Muniz "grabbed a gun and held it to his head, possibly with the intent of committing suicide." After a short visit to the hospital, Muniz returned home, and the couple began arguing again -- in which, the police file says, Muniz "punched" Turnbow and "threw her into a wall."
Cops later found a loaded gun at their home, which they have impounded. Both Muniz and Turnbow were charged with disorderly conduct. Cops warned the couple that they could face jail time if another violent incident occurs.
Of the incident, a rep for the couple tells UsMagazine.com in a statement: "Frankie and Elycia had an argument a few days ago.  The police were called to the residence.  A gun played no part in the argument and was voluntarily given to the police for safekeeping.  There were no bruises and neither left the residence. He was not suicidal.  She was not assaulted. They have been together since the incident; are still together and are moving forward with their lives and with their relationship."
Once called "one of Hollywood's most bankable teens," Muniz put his acting career on hold in 2008 to become a race car driver; he's also a drummer in the band You Hang Up. He did voiceover work in the 2010 animated film The Legend of Secret Pass.
On Saturday, the day after the incident was filed, Muniz posted a cheerful note on his Facebook page. "Looking forward to the You Hang Up show at Martini Ranch in Scottsdale tonight," Muniz wrote, later posting photos with fans.

Malcolm, say it ain't so. I was just wondering the other day how Frankie's racing career was going when I saw this story. Guns? Domestic violence? Girlfriend? What the fuck is this, bizarro world? Am I really supposed to believe this story? This is bullshit, right? Here are a few red flags:


1. Muniz "punched" Turnbow and "threw her into a wall." - There is no way that a little shit like him could toss any grown woman around.
2. ...he's also a drummer in the band You Hang Up.- What band would have this douche as it's drummer? Talk about instantly giving your band zero credibility. What, did Urkel turn you down? Was Screech busy?
3. Once called "one of Hollywood's most bankable teens".- For what? Malcolm in the Middle? Big Fat Liar? Agent Cody Banks 2? Not exactly the resume of a young Michael J Fox.


See? Told you, total fake story.

WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS GUY WEARING?

Ricky Martin just walked out on the Grammy's dressed like this. Nice fucking pants dude. Did he just get out of practice with the Raiders or something? Look, I'm not trying to say that Ricky looks gay wearing these, but I heard that backstage Elton John called him a fag.

TIGER WOODS DOESN'T WIN, AGAIN.

ESPN- DUBAI, United Arab Emirates -- Tiger Woods stumbled in a bid for his first victory in 15 months Sunday, leaving Alvaro Quiros to win the Dubai Desert Classic with a wild round that included a hole-in-one and triple bogey.
The 70th-ranked Quiros shot a 68 to finish at 11-under 277, one stroke ahead of Anders Hansen of Denmark (70) and James Kingston of South Africa (67).
Woods had a 75 to end tied for 20th at 4-under 284."There were quite a few positives this week but a couple of glaring examples of what I need to work on," Woods said.
He entered the round one stroke off the lead, but for the second straight day he started with two bogeys in his first three holes. He managed to claw a shot back when his approach on the sixth ended up a few feet from the pin. However, Woods offset two birdies with two bogeys on the back nine and then double bogeyed the 18th.

Somebody get Tiger some sluts, stat! This is getting ri-god damn-diculous. 15 months without a title? What the hell is going on? It's becoming quite clear that pussy to Tiger is like spinach to Popeye, and without it, Tiger is ordinary. His sponsors must be shitting bricks by now. Tiger has made over a billion dollars in his career, with most of it coming through endorsements. It's time for these sponsors to start getting more proactive about this situation. Hey Nike, how about planting some whores in track suits at the gym when Tiger is working out? You too Buick, use some of those modestly priced luxury cars and drive some skanks over to his house right now. And when Tiger is thirsty, a naked bimbo with a Gatorade should be standing by, ready to spring into action. Tiger needs get back to fucking like crazy if there is any hope of getting this train back on the tracks.

CHARLIE SHEEN: STAY OFF THE CRACK!

digitalspy- Charlie Sheen has reportedly warned young adults to "stay off the crack".
The Two And A Half Men star, who checked into rehab two weeks ago, gave a motivational speech to students at the University of California about the dangers of drug abuse.
According to The Mirror, Sheen received a standing ovation after telling his audience: "Stay off the crack, drink chocolate milk and enjoy every moment – that’s all I’ve got."
However, despite Sheen's claims that he is on the road to recovery, a CBS source expressed doubts that the 45-year-old will be able to return to work on Two And A Half Men in two weeks time.
"We’re told the show will come back at the end of the month," they said. "Assuming Charlie can handle it."

I'm not completely sold on Charlie Sheen as an anti-drug spokesman. Has there ever been a more successful drug addict than Sheen? The dude has basically been high for the last 25 years, making millions of dollars. Throughout his career, he's starred in over 60 films, all while doing mountains of blow and fucking his way through Hollywood, including Kelly Preston, who he once "accidentally" shot in the arm. Today, he's the highest paid actor on television, making $1.2 million an episode and still going strong. Whether Charlie's trashing penthouse suites with hookers locked in closets, or going on three day benders with a bunch of porn stars, there's always plenty of coke and booze to keep the good times rolling. I don't see a whole lot of reasons why Charlie shouldn't be doing drugs. Maybe he only means to specifically stay off crack, and all other drugs are fine. That must be it, right?


WOULD YOU ACCEPT A FREE YOGURT SAMPLE FROM THIS DUDE?

The Smoking Gun- FEBRUARY 7--Confirming the suspicions of a New Mexico woman, a yogurt sample provided to her last month by a grocery clerk contained semen, according to test results that prompted police to secure a search warrant authorizing them to collect blood and DNA samples from the suspect.

The disclosure that the yogurt sample from an Albuquerque market tested positive for “sperm cells” and saliva is contained in a search warrant affidavit seeking blood and DNA samples from Anthony Garcia, the 31-year-old suspect.

The January 28 warrant, which was approved by a District Court judge, notes that the samples were needed to “make sure Mr. Garcia does not have any illness or disease that could harm” the victim, whose name TSG has redacted from court documents due to the nature of the incident.
When police arrived to investigate the January 25 incident at the Sunflower Farmers Market, they arrested Garcia after determining he was the subject of two outstanding warrants connected to a 2009 bust for criminal sexual contact with a minor. Garcia is pictured in the above mug shot.

According to a police report, the 28-year-old victim was shopping with her daughter in the store’s cereal aisle when she was approached by Garcia, who worked in the store’s dairy department. After accepting Garcia’s offer of a yogurt sample, the woman immediately thought the sample tasted “gross and disgusting” and, cops reported, “said it tasted like ‘semen.’”

In a handwritten statement, the woman said, “I spit it out on the floor many times cuz I was upset.” The woman recalled that when she talked to manager Catherine Flores, “she told me was a Greek yoghurt. People love it has lot of protein on it.”

The woman paid for her groceries and returned home, where she told her boyfriend about the incident. She told of how Garcia had “just come with one sample just for me,” and that “he was so pushy to tell me how taste it.” The woman and her boyfriend eventually returned to the market, where they summoned police.
When questioned by cops, an “extremely nervous” Garcia denied putting bodily fluids in the yogurt container, which he admitted discarding in a trash compactor after the woman complained about the sample’s taste.

Look, I don't want to blame the victim here, but I have no choice. The only people I've ever seen giving away samples at the grocery store are little old ladies. If some pushy dude comes up with a single cup offering you a free yogurt sample, you shouldn't even have to think about it. This bitch should consider herself lucky that it had any yogurt in it at all. To be honest, I have no idea what seamen tastes like, but it has to be a pretty distinctive flavor. You know the victim has probably tasted enough in her day to recognize it. How stupid was this girl to wait hours before finally calling the cops? Even the manager was fucking with her, saying "People love it, it has lots of protein in it."

BRAZILLIAN CRACKWHORE RUMBLE!

That was brutal! Is this some kind of wild Brazilian game show or something? What is the guy with the microphone up to? This is so confusing. There were at least 5 people just standing around watching as they grappled right into oncoming traffic.
And could somebody please buy the chick in the black some glasses. She obviously has some problems with depth perception. She would've kicked the shit out of red chick if she could only find the range for her wicked arsenal of karate combinations.

MICK JAGGER HAS A TEENIE WEENIE!

Huffington Post- Mick Jagger's big, full lips are world famous, but allegedly, not all of his body parts share those traits. Meaning that he's being accused of having a small penis.
Jagger was furious when longtime Stones mate Keith Richards wrote in his book, 'Life,' that "Marianne Faithfull had no fun with his tiny todger. I know he's got an enormous pair of balls - but it doesn't quite fill the gap."
Faithfull, Jagger's girlfriend from 1966-1970, has finally spoken out about the issue, for the most part backing up Richards. "Not quite, but nearly," she told The Daily Mirror.
Perhaps there's a debate to be had over "big enough" -- Jagger's ex-wife, Jerry Hall, lept to his defense in October, saying, "Mick is very well endowed. I should know - I was with him for 23 years. Keith is just jealous."
Then again, Hall in 2005 became a spokeswoman for erectile dysfunction drug Levitra.
Either way, don't expect any definite answer.

So Mick's got a little ding-dong, big deal. Is that supposed to make us want to be him any less? Look at the guy- massive rock star for 50 years, worth $300 million, writer of some of the most iconic songs ever recorded, and he's still banging models in their 20's. Do you think that Mick has ever let his minuscule schlong slow him down? Hell no! In addition to fronting the Stones, Mick has starred in 17 movies and even fucked a young Angelina Jolie! So what if she couldn't feel a thing, that's not Mick's problem. Maybe Mick's wee peter is a plus for him. Like the driving force that compels him to rule the world. Who knows, maybe all super successful guys have small cocks. It acts as a motivational tool for these guys to achieve greatness. They are always in search of more and more to compensate for the ultimate shortcoming. In an unrelated story, I've been unemployed for the last two years and really couldn't care less.