FBI arrests man for sticking hand up flight attendant's skirt.

(Somebody's sending mixed signals.)

thesmokinggun- A passenger who was flying from London to New York is facing a federal criminal charge after he allegedly placed his hand up the skirt of a flight attendant and “grabbed her genital area” and “began to run his fingers back and forth,” according to an FBI agent.

The incident, which occurred Thursday on a British Airways flight bound for John F. Kennedy International Airport, resulted in the arrest of Iurii Chumak, 53.

In a misdemeanor criminal complaint excerpted here, FBI Agent Thais Canin reported that the flight attendant has just provided coffee to Chumak when she turned away from him to serve other passengers across the aisle in row 42. As she “bent over slighty” to pour coffee, Chumak allegedly groped her.

A second flight attendant, Canin added, saw Chumak “grab the first flight attendant’s genital area” and immediately approached the passenger and placed him in restraints. The second attendant told the FBI that a male passenger had previously complained that Chumak--drinking from a bottle of Dewar’s--had “bothered and verbally abused” his wife.
When questioned by federal agents after the plane arrived in New York, Chumak said he “was drinking on the airplane, fell asleep, and woke up in restraints.” Chumak appeared Saturday in U.S. District Court for arraignment, and was ordered held on an Immigration and Customs Enforcement detainer.

Fucking bin Laden, the dude's been dead for 3 days, yet his legacy is still going strong. There was a time when getting wasted on a plane and fondling flight attendants was as American as apple pie. I mean it was really common. It was actually considered rude if you didn't fondle them. I think the airlines used lack of fondling as a tell-tale sign that it was time for a stewardess to hang up her wings. And the flight attendants back then were really hot and slutty. Remember Dan on Night Court? That guy was always fucking stewardesses left and right. It was really a grand time for the airline industry.  But that all changed after 9/11. The feds got involved, security tightened up, and in-flight shenanigans became something that was really frowned upon. Nowadays, getting blacked out on Dewar's and finger blasting the stewardess is considered a "crime." On a plane! I know, it's fucking ridiculous. And it's no coincidence that passenger satisfaction is at an all-time low. I guess it just goes to show that because of terrorism, flying as we once knew it will never be the same again. Even if Osama bin Laden is dead.